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you already gave me advice on david (im the girl who had the incredibly long story) but something happened that jumbeled my mind even more. this weekend i went to a party. i was the designated driver. anyways, me and my friends marykate and jamie were there at 810 ish and there was only 1 other car. we got out and i called the host as we walked up his driveway, he picked up. it was pitch black but this guy came walking towards up. i couldnt make out his face. he told us how the host wasnt home yet and wasnt picking up his calls. i wasnt really interested in what the guy was saying untill he said btw.. its david, who am i talking to? my friend marykate went into a rant about how she didnt have a name and wasnt a person, then we went to my car and kind of left him in the dark. i hadnt seen him in so long and i couldnt believe he was here. he started texting me asking if i had told my friends he was an ass and saying how fun the party was so far. every time i didnt answer he sent another text. like what the hell?! he doesnt respond to me but then he sees me after a little over a month hes allowed to text me? so finally at party marykate made sure to inform me of the fact david had been hardcore eyeraping me all night. i wasnt feeling too well so i went to pass david to sit on the couch. he ended up stopping me and hugging me. he just wouldnt let go. then i asked why he hugged me when he hates me and he was like "i never hated you, i was just mad about homecomming." And i said that he had no right to be mad considering the fact that when we were together he got head from the ugly model. he pulled me in for another hug and denied the fact that he had his phone after hc claiming he wasnt ignoring me. LIES!! well he was on me all night and noone else. following me around, putting his arm around me, w/e. then i decided i needed to speak my mind. i was flat out and told him that i was sorry for hc but that everything he did our whole relationship was so much worse than that one night i messed up. and he was like "how so?". i reminded him of how he told me i wasnt as skinny as most girls he goes for and how he told me how much better i looked after losing 10 pds from the mono he gave me and that i shouldnt gain my weight back, and how he got head from one of the most repulsive human beings in the whole world while we were together. lastly how he puked in my sink and got me grounded for the rest of the summer. he sat there kind of stunned and admitted defeat saying "yeah, youre right, im sorry." that was all. he didnt make more of an apology, or deny anything, he only said that. we left and i havent talked to him since our hug goodbye. clearly, hes still hasnt changed. why do i still care so much? why am i restraining so hard texting him right now? what the hell is wrong with me? and what kind of apology is that? lastly, how does he think he can just jump into and out of my life? like play little mind games of hot and cold.
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hey sweetie, unfortunately i'm going through something like this right now too. this guy i loved, treated me like shit. he hurt me, really bad and he never realized what he did to me. i didn't see him for awhile and when i ran into him, all my feelings came rushing back and i felt like no matter what he did to me, it didn't matter anymore. i started falling for him all over again, and i thought after i told him how much he hurt me and he realized what he did things would be different but he doesn't text me anymore, i got my hopes up and i ended up hurt once again. you care so much because you liked him so much, you loved the attention he was giving you and you realized how much you missed him. i always try to restrain myself from just saying "i miss you.." but i know that i can't do it, it's not something i can do. you need to stay strong, if he really wanted to talk to you he would call or text you first. nothing is wrong with you, i hope it makes you feel better that i'm going through the same thing. i think about this guy everyday and all i can think about is what he is doing, who is he with. every time i get a text, i hope its him but it never is. it's like you hope he is thinking about you, thinking about what you're doing but something in your heart is telling you he doesn't care at all. maybe he just wanted to hook up with you that night, and was just saying sorry so he could get you back. i really hope it wasn't but i always look at every possible situation. i hate how guys won't talk to you, and then you start forgetting about them and the pain goes away and then they come back right when you were doing better, and that just makes everything back to how it was before. guys don't know what they want, they think they can do whatever they want and it won't hurt anyone. they really only do care about themselves, it might sound harsh but i thought the guy i was talking to was different than the other guys but he is not at all. it does make me lose hope but i'm not going to let it ruin my life. you have to be strong and i know you are. it's hard to get over him, i know. i bet all your friends say you can do better, to just move on and forget about him and that he doesn't deserve you. that he treated you like shit, and you don't need that. i've heard that so many times but people don't understand that you can't just forget about someone, it's not that easy. you can't just move on, it's so much easier said than done. i wish i could tell you how to get over him, but you can't stop yourself from liking someone, you can't tell your heart what to do. it's not your fault. don't bring yourself down, keep your head held high. if you ever need to talk about anything else, or just to get things off your chest don't ever hesitate to e-mail me at: lindsayluxo@yahoo.com
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