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it's always my fault..
i don't trust many people, and when i finally do i always mess things up. i will admit that i jump to conclusions when i hear something i don't want to. and i also ALWAYS say things i don't mean when i'm upset or angry. i'll just automatically think that it's true and start freaking out on the person. i feel bad for my friends, they don't deserve this. i currently lost my best GUY friend of four years because i heard he did something he promised he never would do to me, and without asking him i just flipped out on him, and told him that we shouldn't be friends anymore because of this and now four years of friendship ended just like that. he won't even talk to me. i do have trust problems because of what people have put me through in the past, but why do i always do this? i try my hardest to listen, but i get so mad right away when i hear something and from there on, i have my mind set. i always find myself saying "don't talk to me" when i'm angry or i'll say something even more hurtful. i can't control this.
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Wow! This sounds a lot like me a year ago! I think that the best thing for you to do is to talk to a therapist or a doctor.
I ended up being diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. I had to get a prescription for anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds.
Trying to handle this all on your own isn't going to work to well as it will most likely just make you even more frustrated with yourself and other people.
If you don't want meds and can't afford a therapist, I would suggest getting the following book:
The Freedom from Depression Workbook by Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minirth
It has helped me tons and you can get it fairly cheap on amazon.com. Also there are other workbooks by those two that could help you also!
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