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boyfriend vs. best friend
it all started very complicated, and it still is kind of complicated... but not much as before. okay, the beginning was that me and my best friend went out before about 3 years ago, but then we broke up and we've been best friends ever since. then we started liking each other again this year. and while we were 'talking' or 'dating' however you'd like to put it, he just started working at this new place and i found out he's been flirting with other employees. which got me mad, and made things awkward so i started to sit with this guy, who's now my boyfriend, and i started to like him. so then, it's been right in front of my best friend's face too that i liked him, but i guess he over looked it. and then he found out that i didn't like him anymore, he started getting very angry. and that made things more awkward. so me and my boyfriend's been going out my best friend has been acting weird. so i decided to give him some time and stuff like that. so my best friend isn't mad anymore, and he talks to me online.. but not so much in person. especially when i'm with my boyfriend, and it turns out that he doesn't talk to my boyfriend anymore (they used to be great friends). and i feel horrible breaking their friendship up and all... but it's all very complicated.
right now, i'm with my boyfriend and then my best friend says he's not sure if he liked me anymore, but he still cares about me. and then part of me just goes like "ughh.." because there are 3 parts of me, one of them is that i feel regretful for doing that.. but i can't regret it, because what's done is done. and then the second part of me, is wishing that me and my best friend was still as close as before. and the 3rd one, is just like "i wish i could've chosen him" or something.
my boyfriend is very fragile, and i wouldn't want to hurt him, and i'm trying my best to stop thinking like that.. but it's soooo.. i don't know, i can't control it.
i still get angry when a girl gets near my best friend and my boyfriend, but i trust my boyfriend because he knows where the boundary line is. okay, i guess you can say that i'm jealous when a girl gets near my best friend. and i'm scared of him liking someone else.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?! HELP ME PLEASE.
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I can't tell you what to do because as you said it's very complicated but I can tell you to think about it a different way, it might help.
you are jealous of any girl that gets close to your best friend, but it doesn't seem like the normal "he's my best friend, i'm being protective" kind of jealousy. it's a different jealousy that is "i like him, get away." and since you wish you were with him, why not be with him? lol
you have to think about YOU. are you happy with your boyfriend? if yes then GREAT! but would you be happier with your best friend instead of your current boyfriend? hmmm...i know it's tough, but don't choose based on if you're going to hurt your boyfriend or not, because you won't be happy.
guess what? you don't have to worry about hurting your boyfriend, he'll live, and he'll forgive. if he's not right for you, you're not right for him. it's like gravity. if this best friend is right for you, then you're right for him. it all balances out, and you should give it a chance. think about this "are you going to regret not saying anything to your best friend?" if you don't, you'll never know what could have been...
now the hard part...how to handle your best friend. well he is really close to you and it seems that he's just as jealous as you are. here are the signs :
1. he doesn't talk to you while you're with your boyfriend &
2. he doesn't talk to his really good friend who happens to be dating you.
HE'S JEALOUS! lol he obviously does still have feelings for you, and my suggestion is that you talk to him. afterall, you are best friends, he'll listen.
hope this works out for you, lemme know how it goes.
es
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