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Does this guy like me or in any way interested?
Hi I am a 19 yr. old female and the guy I like is 20. I am having a hard time trying to realize everything that has happened. He has been my really good friend since last year, and never in my life would I have thought of him as someone I would be interested in. But just recently, in a weird random way we brought up making out with each other as mutual friends...I didn't mind so we have on different occasions. I was in denial that I didn't have feelings for him when this happened, because obviously people that usually kiss each other would have some kind of physical attraction? But yea, of course while this happened my feelings have been brought out more intensely. I didn't just like him because of that, but we have common interests as well. We are both musicians and we write and play songs together. We both share our secrets and love to talk about our daily lives.
Now here is the thing. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel, because we discussed it was a mutual thing and it shouldn't develop feelings. He is a guy that is very mysterious as well. He has told me straight up that he's not looking for a relationship or a committment based on his previous experiences, and just wants to have "fun". I knew that... but this is what happened to me. But I feel in my heart that he may have hidden feelings for me, because I sense something. I think that he does but is scared to take risks or be out there, scared to fall for me and be in a relationship which he might not be ready for. He's told me himself maybe thats why he is still single today... I am sensing mixed emotions from him. He's told me he really cares about me and doesn't want to continue this because it is way too "hot" and he wants to try sexual things. He said he really cares and feels like he might betray me in a way..
But all in all this is all confusing me. I've noticed the small details as well, that I wouldn't say is normal behavior. Like a guy kissing you on the forehead passionately after hugging him...is that a sign that he does like me? I've never seen him do that before...and he is usually looking for me when I'm not around. Always offers me a ride home.. you get the picture. I just don't know if I should pursue anything if he is in this "fun" state of mind, though I think he may have feelings for me. Should I give it time to blossom and for him to realize something of should I move on with my life until the opportunity opens up? I just don't know what to do. I really like him. I hope he likes me back.
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Well you came to the right person to ask this question. I have gone through this situation first hand. I am with a guy who is my best friend, I was not attracted to him for his looks at first it was his personality that really drew me to him. MY best friend as well told me he never wanted a relationship, and cared about me but not in the way I cared for him. I have been with my best friend now for going on past six years and we are still together to this day. This was a long hard road though for even us. When a guy is your friend and he is scard he will say all the things you have mentioned above and then some. My best friend who I am still with, it took him almost four years before he could tell me straight up why he keep doing what he was doing and said what he said. So I am going to share this information with you. My now boyfriends fears back then where things like, when h felt to close or started to have deeper feelings he would do things intentionally to mess things up with him and I. He told me it was because he was afraid of being deeply hurt, and would do things without really understanding it all himself. After talking with my own best friend/boyfriend we have dove deeper into why those things took place. One thing that really scard him was that fact that he had never really been in a serious relationship. His longest relationship was one year. That girl stopped all over his heart and they where engaged to get married. That girl had told him she was not ready for anything like that, and he bleieved her. My best friend then found out not even two week later his now X girlfriend was seeing a new guy. He keep track of her to a point and found out it did not take to long for them to become engaged and set a wedding date. It crused him, and from that point on he viewed woman as a threat. He would keep things fun, sexual, or just hang out. But the main point is from that experiance alone he viewed woman as he ddidnt want anything serious again. He went through fazes of seeing more than one person at once. Just having flings, but always keep his deep emotions blocked off, or he would walk away when he thought he might have any. This guy you like sounds like something happened to him that is keeping him from being deeply emotional with you. I agree with you he is showing you all the signs that their is more feelings than he is willing to admit to you. My suggestion is this, dont force the way you feel about him directly on him, or he will get a bit freaked out. Stand by him and tell him how much you care for him and like him. Dont push a relationship because it will take some time before his guard will come down enough to really admit any deep feelings at all. I stuck it out through thick and thin and proved to my best friend I meant what I said. Soon it sunk into his thick skull and he had no choice but to realize I was being honest and meant what I said. Hang in their honey I know its not easy, but we all need time to heal, and sounds like if you back up what you say and he sees it eventually he will believe it. ( So you dont go anywhere) Eventually he will be able to tell you about deeper feelings he is having. I hope this helps keep in touch and let me know how things are going...
Always remember take a deep breath and take it Onedayatatime...
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