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Underage with a boyfriend...
(In Australia) Ok, theres a guy that I really like. And he really likes me, too. He's 16. I'm 13. We've been going out for nearly a week now, and before that we'd liked each over a lot for a while. None of our parents know about us, and we have no immediate plans to say anything. I have told him I cant have sex until I'm 16, which he was completely fine with. We have 'made out'. But I have 2 problems. I don't want to tell my mum, as she wasn't even ok with our friendship, but I don't want her to be in the dark. And I am sexually attracted to him, and do want to have sex, even though I'm underage.
I feel completely safe around him, and I know he wouldn't do anything that made me feel uncomfortable, or make me do anything I didn't want to.
So should I tell my parents? And what should I do about the sex thing?
Thanks, bye.
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You're doing very well to take your time like that. You don't want to have sex til you're 16, which is extremely reasonable and smart of you. You've been going out for a week but have known each other longer, also good. That age is really difficult to keep all your priorities and obligations straight but you seem to be on an even keel.
I would wait six months before you tell your parents, if possible. Go places with him if you can, in groups, or meet at school. Parents are often resistant to their daughters dating, especially if they're young. They don't want to think about their "baby girl" as a sexually aware being. They want to hold on to the illusion of childhood as long as possible. To that end, it's up to you to protect yourself and know when you're mentally strong enough to be independent.
I think you're doing well as it is. At your age it's hard for girls to decide things about sex, but waiting til you're 16 is great. I'm sure he's really attracted to you because 16 year old boys are very very excitable and sexually awake.
I'm also impressed with your desire to be honest with your mum. I hope she realizes what a rare and amazing urge that is... personally I was terrified to tell my mother anything because I didn't trust her. If you wait six months and get a handle on the situation, you can sit her down and say calmly, "mum, there's a boy I like, and he likes me too, and we are interested in spending time together but I have made a strong decision not to have sex for a long time. It's a personal choice that I have made on my own." If she's a good mum she ought to really respect you for that.
Good luck and I hope the two of you do well together.
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