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Aaaand the walls come tumb'ling down...
I'm 21/f, he's 23.
So, there's this guy. We dated for awhile, then "broke up" but didn't. He was a pretty awful boyfriend, but he's turned into my best friend. We went through a very rough patch, thanks to his family (they hate me), and I kicked him out of my life, kinda. After a week, he called me, begging for another chance (at being friends), which, after much discussing and debating, I gave him.
Since then, he's been the sweetest, most appreciative guy I've ever met. I thought I had begun to fall out of love with him, but now all those feelings are rushing back. He hugs me, he cuddles me, plays me love songs (he told me once that the music he listens to tends to reflect what he's feeling)...I feel safe and right in his arms.
I said we couldn't be as close as we had been, but I can't seem to keep my guard up now. We seem to be growing even closer than we were, and I'm...well, scared. I don't know if he's had some serious epiphany or what, but he's like a completely different person now...more like, he's turned back into the guy I fell in love with the first time.
I keep telling myself it won't last, but the thing is it has lasted. I'm afraid to take it for granted, and to let him in like I can feel myself doing.
What's worse is I don't know if it's me that's changed or him. I can't tell if I'm just handling things better, or he's giving me less to have to handle.
How do I keep my walls up? Do I need to keep my walls up? How do I figure out if it's me or him?
Thanks, everyone.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you really care for him deeply, then let him in little by little. It seems that he is earning your trust back, so just give him the trust that he earns. It is natural to feel comfortable with him because you fell in love with him before. Don't be blinded this time by the feelings that you have for him, but embrace what you are feeling for what it is. If the two of you get to a point where you know that you want to be with eachother again and you will be happy together, consider yourself lucky. Not many guys change and if he hasn't time will give you that answer. I suggest that you enjoy being in this good place that you are in and take your time with it. This could be the chance for love that the two of you always wanted before but wasn't able to get right the first time. If he does change back to his old self, don't beat yourself up about it....just move forward with your life and know that you gave it your all. I know that you are nervous about letting your guard down, but treat him the way you feel he desrves to be treated by you. people never change because someone else wants them to, so if he has its because he really wants to be better for you. Be patient and enjoy, move slowly, there's no need to dive right in. It doesn't sound like he's going anywhere.
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it neighther of you ! i know tis hard to think some one changed i mean its REALLY hard but you have to give him the benifit of the dout that he has changed. because mostly NOBODY changes but if your heart tells you to its like i always say ''if you never try you never know (well in this case try again!!) so my advice is dont keep your walls up let em drop for the one you could've seen yourself being with.
good luck
Tatianna
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you should give him a chance dont keep up walls they only shut out and totally block those who love youand want love you more but ill tell you this you cant shut out love no matter how hard you try its just one of those unchangeble facts of life that just is its like the sun shining down on you or a warm feeling you get after you hug him and if he has chaged for the better dont question wether it was you that changed him or he that changed himself because no matter what we would like to believe we cant change ppl they have to want to change in order for a real change to occur be of luck in all that you do
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