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Ex boyfriend's girlfriend
me: 16/f
Okay, so i'll give ya'll a little update to what's going on in love life.
here we go: so, in march i broke up with my boyfriend because i didnt feel the same anymore, i found him clingy, and i thought he was awkward.(dated nearly 6 months) afterwards i felt relieved that we ended it. it was rough at first and i was really depressed but i'm a pretty positive person, so within a few days or so i was back on my feet smiling and laughing :). we attempted the whole friendship thing...but i could feel it turning back into a romance, and i didnt want that to happen. soo, i ignored him. MISTAKE! he got really mad and confused and didnt tell me that he felt that way...so 4 months later!... his best friend adds me on msn and tells me to talk to him. soo, i did (on msn). and i was non stop blamed for everything. i let him blow off steam and we talked and i told him i didnt want to be friends. and that was that. we didnt talk at all for the rest of the summer. so now, school has started. and lucky me..he's in my morning classes. at first it was crap. we would non stop just quickly look at each other (especially in english). so about 2 weeks ago maybe...or more. i decided to break the ice and talk to him. we actually had a pretty good short conversation. and as the days went on we talked and joked around a lot more...just like we did in grade nine...which is where we both wanted to end back up. however, in grade nine...we both fell for each other...and i think that's happening again...for me anyway. one day we flirted...BIG TIME. and neither of us stopped it or tried to tone it down. over the summer, we both finally ended up with jobs and at his work he met another girl...who is now his girlfriend. im fine with it... just a little jealous. buut i think i could be doing a bad thing because he is taken and im flirting with my ex. so, i've stopped for the most part and defnitely have kept my distance.
now, we have our homecoming dance this following week. im super pumped and excited because it's one of the best days of the year! school is full of spirit and it's amazing. so, my ex is going...and he's plannin on bring his girlfriend (who goes to another school). so, im gunna meet her at the dance. im sorta nervous because it'll be so awkward. which is what i want to avoid. from the sounds of it...he's happy, so im glad about that...because when i broke up with him...he was a total mess. so seeing him happy is awesome..but at the same time...im becoming jealous. i thought i was over this guy..i had good reasons for ending the relationship...i just wasnt comfortable with him. or was that just a phase? does that happen normally? becuase im starting to regret breaking up with him. i know there is no way on earth we'll end up back together but im starting to think about him constantly and i dont want to! do i still like him...or am i just uneasy about him getting a new girlfriend and im still single? i don't know. anyways, his new girfriend is coming and i want to be nice and stuff. so what should i say? or ask...like, how you liking grade 11 and that kinda stuff? or what?
oh and his other friends absolutely hate his new gf...apparently...because behind his back they talk really badly about her and how ugly and annoying she is. that makes me feel better, which is TERRIBLE! but it's an emotion i can't control. i want the best for my ex..as much as he does for me. what should i do about this dance thing coming up? and how can i get rid of these feelings that are coming back? i want to be friends with him because he is such a good guy...but if that's gunna make me jeaous of every girl he goes out with...then i dont think it'd be fair to him or me.anyways, i could use some advice! thanks in advance! xo
P.S. im not wanting to talk to my ex about it because it would mess things up for him and he'd get all confussed. it would be a castastrophy. so please, try not to suggest that...but if u must...give some good reason why.
thankss! :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Give yourself a break.
It is going to be awkward.
You are going to feel a bit jealous.
It might make you a bit happy to hear others talk bad about her.
You are going to feel disappointed about your breakup, even though you know it was the right thing to do.
None of that makes you a horrible person, and none of it means you aren't over him. It's just human. Most of us would feel that way in that situation.
Emotions aren't black and white. You can be happy for a person AND feel jealous. You can be over a guy AND want him back at the same time. The important thing isn't what we feel; it's what we do with those feelings.
If keeping your distance is what you need to do to make sure you behave yourself, and don't do or say something you know you don't really mean, I can only applaud you for recognizing that. A lot of girls let their feelings rule them in a situation like this one, and they flirt with the ex they don't really want, or treat the new girlfriend like crap. It’s a really great thing that you are more mature then that.
And sure, you’re going to regret the break up, and being single right now. Think of the way you feel when your best friend gets a new love interest… you feel the same sort of jealousy and regret. We all want to be special, and in a selfish way, we all want to be the MOST special person to another person.
So really, cut yourself some slack and go ahead and feel what you feel. Just don’t let those feeling motivate you to do anything cruel or silly. If you need to not be his friend in order to keep yourself in check, then do so.
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