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him or her
okay, my friend(Anna) and this guy((kevin)who's also one of our friends, but not as close as her.)
were getting really close, and they both really liked each other... but then she went with(made out with) someone else from away... and she's sort of with him now... but ive started to like Kevin. and my dilema is that Anna gets jelous whenever she sees anyone flirting with kevin. and i don't want to fall out with her over this but i really like him... i don't know what to do...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There are two main scenarios that could happen here.
One: You could sit down and talk to Anna about the fact that you like Kevin and would like to be in a relationship with him. You may need to politely point out that she is not WITH Kevin, she is with someone else but you wanted to talk this over with her out of respect. Best case scenario is Anna will be understanding and the four of you will be able to hang out and do things as two couples. Worst case, Anna will be less understanding and want both guys for herself. Not that this matters because if Kevin is smart... he will not want to be involved in a three way relationship with this other guy.
What you need to ask yourself here is which is more important? Your friendship with Anna or a romantic relationship with Kevin. This second part gets a little tricky. The reason is I assume you are a teenager. That being said... the chances of you spending the rest of your life with Kevin are not super high. Therefore, are you willing to give up a friendship with Anna for a potentially short term relationship with Kevin and should you break up, you may no longer be friends with either depending on how things are handled.
Second scenario: You decide Anna's friendship is too important to risk getting together with Kevin. Is this fair to you? She already has a boyfriend (or a make-out partner at least) and it is not Kevin. This now puts you in the position of keeping your good friend but upsetting you because you are missing out on what could be a really great romatic relationship with someone you really like.
If your friendship with Anna is a true friendship, it will withstand this situation. I would recommend talking with her out of respect (especially if she has or has had a crush on Kevin) but be assertive about the fact that you and Kevin are both single and the decision is ultimately up to the two of you, not Anna, but you care about her as a friend and hopes she can come to terms with this.
Let's not leave Kevin out of this though. If he has strong feelings for YOU... it isn't really fair for you to deny the two of you a relationship just because Anna gets jealous.
Looking back on my rather wordy answer I think I may have reached a conclusion here... Talk to Anna but then pursue a relationship with Kevin. You want to respect her friendship but it is not her say who you date (given that you are not pursuing HER boyfriend). If she is a true friend she will respect this. If she is not, it is not really worth being upset about losing her friendship.
Either way, you get Kevin and you get to know if Anna is a true friend that you should be keeping in the first place.
Best of luck with this. These triangles can be tricky.
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