|
Am I abusive and is he controllng
Good Morning, I am from South Africa. I would like to know if I am turning into an abusive partner because of control issues by my partner.
When we met a year ago I was a smoker, I had a large group of friends. A year later I have only 2 friends, smoke less and dont go out often. Basically the problem is as such... My partner insists on keeping my bank cards, wont let me leave the house to go shopping alone, blocks the driveway with his car so i cannot get out.I may not go to my family unless he is with me, insists he takes me to work and insists on collecting me afterwards. Continually says he loves me and if i dont answer will carry on calling my cell phone untill I respond. I get around 30 missed calls a day. I am 37,male, but look 25, he is 21,male and styding. I retaliated over the weekend and got physical when he refused to let me go to my sisters party. It resulted in a huge fight and i feel really bad. Am I abusive and am I wrong in saying that I am being controlled. I just have spoken to him about this but he alsways says its because he loves me I dont much free choice anymore or alone time. Any Suggestions?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
From reading this I wouldn't say that you are abusive. Anyone that is pushed too far will react in a big way. I do feel as if your partner is too controlling. It is good that you recognize that because a lot of people will just make excuses for their partner. I'm not sure exactly why and I'm not sure my speculation would help you much, but your partner is insecure. It is very difficult to be with someone who is that insecure because no matter what you do, they are insatiable. Most of the time it doesn't work out unless the couple can come to an agreement. You feel bad because you reacted forcefully so you should apologize. You will feel better, but you also need to sit down and talktp your partner about how you have been feeling. Let him know that you will not tolerate being controlled any longer. If your partner has a problem with that the two of you will have to go your separate ways. You make sure that you are in control of your behavior and do not become violent. Tell your partner what you need and accept nothing less than that respect. He needs to respect you by giving you the space you deserve as a human, and you need to respect him by keeping your hands to yourself. If you don't try to resolve the issue, leaving things the way they are could mean that you finally get angry enough to really hurt him. So, you are not wrong, just work on the relationship.
]
More Questions: |