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Girlfriend and her twin trouble
My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 2 months the only thing is that her twin sister is always with us. No matter what we do she does it with us. We never really have time alone and when we do her sister makes her feel bad by getting upset about her not being with us and then later apologizes for doing that. I have tried given her and her sister time together where they spend a day together without me but her sister then complains and asks where I went and why I'm not with them. I don't know what to do anymore we have tried making her feel welcome all the time but she turns and makes my g/f feel bad every time we do something without her which never happens and when it does its only for an hour or two. any idea or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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It seems that this twin sister has become very annoying. I really can't understand why she wouldn't be mature enough to know that you need to spend time alone with your girlfriend. I think that you need to have a talk with your girlfriend and let her know how this is making you feel. Honestly, I don't think that anyone would tolerate this type of behavior for too long, so you are not wrong to feel this way. Have your girlfriend talk to her so she won't feel like you are trying to come in between them (which you don't seem to be). Your girlfriend also needs to stop giving in every time her twin gets upset because I'm only reading this and the act has gotten old for me. As long as you respect their time together and all of you have your family time together as friends, it is wrong for her twin to deny you your alone time with her. You are dating your girlfriend, not both of the twins. Maybe she needs to get out and meet some other people, but you guys have to make it clear to her or she will never leave you two alone. Every couple needs their alone time. If you try to ignore it you will eventually start to become resentful towards her sister and then the situation could get ugly. So, I think it’s best to handle it now while things are still civil.
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I think you need to realize that her sister doesn't have a problem here hun. She is getting exactly what she needs and wants from her friendship with you and her twin. She might know that what she is doing is not great, but hey, it gets her what she wants and all she needs to do is apologize sometimes… It’s a good situation for her.
Your girlfriend is the one with the problem. Her problem is that she doesn't have a spine and can't stand up for what she wants and needs from her relationship with both of you.
So stop blaming the twin. Start being firm with your girlfriend. Encourage her to state her own needs and wishes clearly, and remind her that it’s okay if her twin in a bit miffed. She’ll get over it.
Part of the way you show someone to state their own needs clearly, is to be clear about your own.
Tell her you want one on one time with her AND PLAN FOR IT. Take some of the heat off of her by making plans yourself, and inviting her, only her, to join you. Tell her it’s an evening for the two of you.
Unfortunately, you cannot solve this problem. Your girlfriend MUST deal with this issue herself. You can’t swoop in and save her. That won’t really fix the problem and will only make her twin hate you. Your girlfriend must stand up for herself. You can only encourage her to do so.
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hi. why dont you try and set her up with a friend of yours that way sehll be with him and not you and your girl friend. but if that doesnt work then im sorry.
i hope i helped you alot or even some
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