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don't know what to do anymore...
16/F
okay so, let me start from the beginning. there's this guy, i've been friends with him for like 3 years. he's liked me for 2 of those years (of course he like hooked up with other girls etc. in those 2 years but always went back to liking me). in those 2 years we became like best friends. he's the one i went to with my problems, we talked on the phone every night, etc. i was a bitch, i led him on, i can admit that. but that was a long time ago. this summer, i started to actually like him for real. we hooked up like all summer. he asked me out, we went out for a week, i went to camp, i broke up with him. i was in a different world. i didn't hook up with any guys at camp. i just couldn't do it. there's nothing i regret more than breaking up with him, now at least. because after camp he told me he wanted to go out again and i told him i didn't want a boyfriend. anyways, i can admit i'm not the nicest to him either. and i have this problem with showing my feelings so he feels like he never really knows if i like him or not. everyone tells me i'm a hard person to read. but it's just really hard for me to open myself up to others because i'm so scared of getting hurt again because the last time i was in a really involved relationship i got my heart broken and i was depressed for like 2 months. i cried myself to sleep every single night. but i realized that not telling him how i felt was worse than telling him. he thought i just wanted to hook up with him, but really i am completely in love with him. there's no other guy i would rather be with. he's so cute and nice and funny and amazing. i'm so scared of losing him as a more than friend, but mostly as a friend. so anyways, this week he started talking to me less. he was still telling me he loved me and stuff because that's how our relationship was. anyways, i noticed something was wrong and i confronted him about it yesterday. and he told me he had a girlfriend. he just asked her out yesterday morning. and obviously i'm so pissed that he didn't tell me he was interested in this other girl.. just kept leading me on. and i told him this. and he told me he thought i didn't care about him anymore. so basically, i just spilled everything. i told him how much i cared about him and everything and he said 'f*** why couldn't you have told me this yesterday?' and i just don't know what to do because i just left myself completely vulnerable and he told me he needs to think about this, he needs to 'sleep on it'. meanwhile, i can't sleep, it's 4 in the morning, i cried myself to sleep, fell asleep for a few hours but then i woke up again. i just don't know what to do. what if he decides to stay with this girl? i know i'll get over it eventually, but this kid was like my best friend and i loved him in so many ways i became so emotionally attatched to him, could talk to him about ANYTHING. in the past few months he's become like my life. i know that sounds dumb but we talked every night, saw eachother like 3 times a week, texted every freaking second. i feel like my heart just got ripped out. i don't understand how he can like this girl he started liking a week ago more than me. what should i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are not stupid for feeling like this, once you spend so much time with someone, it does feel as though they are your life (I feel the same with my guy currently, he's just my world), so never be ashamed by that. Also, you have every right to be upset because things were going so great at one time, and now he's just completely up and left for some random girl. Unfortunately, I don't think he was as invested as you were in this relationship or he got scared because he knew how much he cared for you and couldn't take it (that happened to me once before, as well).
I know that you can and will get through this, it's going to be difficult, but you'll make it. Believe me, there are plenty of guys out there just waiting for a girl like you to come by. They'll treat you as you deserve to be treated and much better than your ex did.
Best wishes - you're going to make, girl, you're strong!
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First let me just say that you are in no way stupid because you feel that he had become "your life". When you spend a lot of time with someone and you are going to grow and become attached. You said at the end of your question that you didn't understand how he could possibly like the new girl more than he likes you. I don't think that you really have any reason to believe that he does actually like her more. Guys are very sensitive when it comes to them investing their time and energy into a female. His decision to see this other girl may actually be no deeper than him feeling unsure about your true feelings for him. I believe that the amount of time that the two of you spent together meant a great deal to him as well. He probably needs to think about it because he wants to make sure he isn't throwing away a girl who really likes him for someone who isn't sure how they feel about him. So, if you really are in love with him then you need to make a solid effort at letting him know how you feel. I understand how difficult it can be to let your guard down, but follow your instincts. If deep down you feel that he is someone you can really trust, give him your trust unless and until he shows you that he does not deserve it. You don't have to become a door mat and let him walk all over you, but there is nothing wrong with letting him in on your feelings for him. This will make the friendship stronger and it could make the romantic connection the two of you share more powerful. Be honest with him, and follow your gut about how far to take it...your gut will never lie to you. Good luck!
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