Question Posted Tuesday September 9 2008, 10:18 am
I'm in a long distance realationship with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 months.He's 20 and i'm 18 we meet through his sister.His new job is getting in the way of our realationship,it takes time away from our conversations.He's working over time to get an appartment,home life isn't so great.I don't want to be selffish about it but i'm hurt when he makes promises(2nd time) to call.I love him dearly and I feel we are drifting appart.What should I do?
Thanks
Kerry-ann
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? BitsandPieces answered Wednesday September 17 2008, 10:00 pm: Long distance relationships don't usually work out for a couple of reasons. First, the two of you should be getting to really know each other and in the day to day real world everything is different than just talking on the phone and seeing each other whenever. Second, the longer you invest in this long distance relationship, the more likely your perspective of who the other person is will be based upon hopes and desires, and not facts. This will lead to disappointments later if you two do stay together, and find out eventually that you are not a good match. For you there is a third issue. Although the age difference is not great, two years is a big jump when you are just barely an adult and you two are not currently working on the same goals. I generally think that you are better off in fun and less serious relationships when you are under 25. The reason is this: You are just beginning to develop your sense of self as a very young adult, and being preoccupied with someone else to fill the voids in yourself and your life, will delay your own growth. Don't ask him to make promises he cannot keep and tell him you would appreciate it if he kept things honest and simple. This way, he won't feel pressure to tell you what he thinks you want to hear and make those false promises and you won't be as disappointed. In the meanwhile, work on filling your own life up with enriching positive things that will help you to become your best self. Bless you on your journey. [ BitsandPieces's advice column | Ask BitsandPieces A Question ]
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