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boyfriend problems, break up?


Question Posted Tuesday September 2 2008, 7:21 pm

I had a little get together with some friends including my boyfriend david and an guy i cheated on my boyfriend with (over a year ago, joe) last week. We played stupid drinking games and truth or dare and my boyfriend is claiming i was staring at the joe the whole time although i was basically the only one who didn't get with him. i mean i think he is good looking but have been with my boyfriend close to two years, i love him a lot and don't want joe anymore. Its not like this is the first time they have been together in a room because we all go to the same parties..have the same friends. that next two nights david and i are fighting because he claims i still like joe.. he doesn't understand. then i was out for vacation the whole weekend... friday sat sun mon and i'm back its already tuesday.. i texted him sat saying i'm sorry and i love him and we should talk and all he said was have fun and we should??? i don't feel like i need to be explaining myself and i've tried to make things better and i'm just gonna wait for him to apolgize. did i or did i not do somethihng wrong? its not like if i had any physical contact with the guy, i barely talked to him! and to make things better, i'm almost positive david went out with his friends, like always whenever i am not around, got drunk and missed work because we work at the sameplace so i know... it just bugs me too because i never ever go out with out him and he always goes out with out me because i usually have work on weekend and such... i feel like we should take a break maybe with so much kiddy stuff going on.. Like i said its been a few days, i do miss him but obviously he wants it to be like this? what do i do? besides just sitting down and talking to him?

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soccerchick5225 answered Tuesday September 2 2008, 9:22 pm:
you should take a day off of work and go with him and see wat he does and you didnt do any thing so he is just being a jackass

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Comrade answered Tuesday September 2 2008, 8:48 pm:
Normally I would pin the fault on your boyfriend -- After all, a relationship can only work if all parties involved have a pretty high level of trust in each other.

However, you DID cheat on him, and your boyfriend is right to be uneasy about all this, given your history. You lost your boyfriend's trust when you chose to cheat on him. You won't get it back by dumping him the minute he starts to feel uneasy. That would only confirm his doubts.

Assuming you want to keep your boyfriend, don't wait for him to apologize. Sit him down and explain yourself. Don't blame him, he's right to be uneasy. Tell him you're still interested in persuing a relationship and hope he can learn to trust you again. If not, let it be a lesson to you in any future relationships you may have. Your cheating (A year ago or not) may have just killed your relationship -- After all, a relationship can only work if all parties involved have a pretty high level of trust in each other.

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