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boyfriend is stuck in the middle
hi there, okay so my boyfriend of a year and 4 months is at a crossroads in his life. he has the choice of staying here and going to university here and being with me, or going to school out of the country and living with his parents. he hasnt lived with his parents for about 3 years now because of their out of the country jobs. either way, hes going to get a good education and so his inability to make a choice isnt because of school. i know he loves me with all his heart, which is why its hard for him to leave me, and i know its because of me that hes confused about his choice. hes a very simple guy and he wouldnt mind living anywhere really, its just the fact that i guess it means leaving his parents once again or me. he doesnt really tell me much about what hes feeling about all this, but my question is what should i tell him to make him feel better? and how do you think i should react to all this? im so confused and i love him very much and i have no idea what to do or say to help him with his decision, because obviously i want him to stay with all my heart, but i will definately understand if he decides to go because i dont want him to have any regrets. what would you do if you were in this situation?
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looks like you know exactly what to tell him.
tell him how your feeling about this.
your right you must be understanding and supportive.
im sure he loves you with all his heart
but his desicion cannot and i mean CANNOT be based on that
tell him to ask his self
what are his goals in life?
for sum ppl there goal in life is find the love of there life and settle down
sum its to be a doctor
whats his goal
whats gonna complete him
make him feel better about himself
this is his life..hes gotta complete it..
do not guilt him by secretly giving him hints that you want him to stay
tell him that you wud love it if he stayed and that yo ulove him with all your hr=eart
but if he left youd understand 150%
tell him to do whatever makes him happy in the end =]
and youd be ok with whatever he decides.
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That's really sweet and yet really tough all at the same time.
I think I would tell him what you just wrote on here...
(This is if I were in your shoes.)
I would tell him how much he means to me and how much I love him; How great it would be if he stayed because he means so much to me. BUT that because I care about him so much that my biggest hope is for him to be happy and that whatever choice he makes I am behind him 100% and will completely understand. It would be sad to see him go, but what is meant to be will be. In my heart of hearts I believe that and if he feels there would be any regret staying then he should go, and if he wants to be with his parents that's fantastic because parents are a lot to a person and that I'd always be there for him no matter what... And so on to comfort him.
SO, if you feel that way at all, like what I said I would do if I were in your position, then I would tell him that, or at least something to that nature, not word for word obviously because I don't know your relationship. Be honest with him though, I think, and let him know that it's okay whatever he chooses and your okay with it even if it would be hard that, like you said, you would understand.
Also, as far as how you should react... I think that feeling sad is okay and normal. But I think from the way you sound you want nothing but for him to be happy in life even if it means not going to school close to you. Just trust that the right choice will be made no matter what it is, and you can be sad if you want because it's understanable, but be supportive of him like you are now. You seem to have a good hold on this, you don't seem selfish or anything at all, it really seems that you care for his well being so that's honestly awesome of you. Some people wouldn't be so understanding about it. So, I think in my opinion your reaction so far to all of it is fine. (Hope that's what you were asking)
...That's the best I can come up with though, I hope I could help a little, good luck with everything. =)
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