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Friends With Benefits or More?
I'll give you guys some background on the situtation.
So since the beginning of May I've really liked this guy and we started talking and we flirted and hung out all the time, but it never went further than that. Than in the beginning of June he started dating a girl I thought was my friend. But he was hoenst about it and I was fine and started talking to other boys.
So while they were dating he'd call me and hang out with me. And than one time we were at the mall and he kept finding excuses to touch me and I thought it was EXTREMELY AWKWARD, I mean he has a girlfriend.
So he broke up with her a little bit later and I told him I liked him and he said he needed to think, this was beginning of July. Than we made out like a week after this convo and he told me he didn't want a girlfriend. So he went on vacation and made out with another girl and I was fine with that cuz I made out with my ex.
He comes back and we made out again and now I'm so confused, he texts me all the time, visits me at work, puts up with my friends, and a bunch of stuff.
But I don't know, are we just friends with benefits or is there a chance for more?
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PLAYYYERR written allll over him. Please don't waste your time on him. :( If you guys want to be FWB and you think that you're emotionally capiable with it (wich i don't think any girl is) then go ahead, just don't expect anything more out of it. He's only got one thing on his mind, hun..
I think if you're looking for love, find a guy who is going to treat you right, not some player who's only going to text you when he feels its conveinent.
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If he wanted to be in a serious relationship with you then he would have already made that very clear.
Guys are pretty blunt about what they want. If they want a relationship, they tend to say so. If they want sex, you'll usually figure that one out pretty easily.
Being friends with benefits has the drawback that one side usually ends up developing feelings for the other side. Typically the female of this sort of situation ends up doing this, which is obvious what has happened here (you even confess to him that you are interested in him).
The problem is this:
The guy wants what he can get from you. He realizes that you have feelings for him and is afraid that if he tells you that he simply does not see you as girlfriend material that you will leave and he cannot use you any more. In other words, he's leading you on so that you'll stick around.
If you sit back and relax, you can pretty easily figure out if he's trying to pursue you. Does he treat you any differently than his own friends? As in, does he call them too? Does he visit them at their work site as well? Does he meet their friends and act polite while in their company?
Probably not or he would have made a real move to become more by now.
You're only someone he can get something from right now. If you weren't around, there would be someone else--just like there was someone else when he went on vacation. You aren't anything special to him.
I don't mean to sound harsh but this is probably what is really happening:
You're easy and he doesn't see himself getting many "easy" girls. He wants to keep you hanging on so you don't go away and he's left with no sexual contact again.
Most guys (not all, of course) tend to be driven by their hormones, especially when they're young (even throughout their 20s). These guys quickly learn how to "play the game" to the best advantages they can receive. He has, most likely, learned how to string you along and will do so until you completely leave from frustration.
Forget this guy and move on.
You shouldn't allow yourself to be used like this anyway--you are better than that and you deserve to be treated like a lady.
He really just isn't that into you.
Even if this was to spur some sort of real relationship, it simply wouldn't last. The entire basis of the relationship would be sex, and those relationships burn out very quickly. He's interested in what you can give him, not who you are.
I hope things turn around and you realize what sort of situation you have put yourself in. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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