|
Depression
Im 16 and for about 2 years now ive been feeling really down. I think its because ive had a bad childhood: fostercare, dad left, mom in jail and has mental problems.. About 4 months ago it started to get really bad and ive started becoming so angry. Little things will make me so upset and it feels like my head is crushing in and i just want to beat something. This summer i started to cut, the relief it made me feel was so amazing. I have about 20 cuts on my thigh and no body knows or even suspects anything. I know i need help and the thing is i dont know how to break it to the people im living with now. We're pretty poor so they cant afford the medical bills and ill feel even worse. What should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
The way you're feeling is completely understandable. You've had to deal with so much, more than anyone should have to endure. It would be ideal for you to visit a therapist. Since you're short of funds, why not consider your school counselor? Also, look into your insurance cover plan if possible. It may cover psychiatric care, even if it doesn't cover the medication.
Telling those you live with can be the most difficult thing to do. You may feel like a disappointment, or you may feel ashamed. Look past this. Realize that they care about and love you -- why else would you be living with them? Sit them down one night and explain that you love them, but you have some major hurts from the past. Unfortunately, they haven't subsided, and you feel like you would benefit from seeing a professional. You don't need to tell them about the cutting right away if you don't feel comfortable.
There are a few things you could do in the meantime.
1) Keep a journal if you don't already. It can just be on MS Word with a password lock. There's a free program I use called "My Simple Friend" located here: ([Link](Mouse over link to see full location)). Writing out your thoughts will be a form of therapy. Every time you cut, write it down. Talk through your feelings. Ask yourself how you felt before you cut, if you tried to stop yourself, how long you waited, how you felt during and after cutting. And about the anger, write down every episode.
2) When you become angry or feel the need to cut yourself, distract yourself. Write your feelings down, communicate your feelings to someone you trust, remove anything sharp that you could use to cut yourself with, and identify your trigger -- what exactly caused you to become angry or want to cut just now? You may consider becoming another person during an episode. If you feel the urge, become your alter-ego, and try to counsel yourself.
3) If you are struggling, find a high-impact activity. Go running, kickboxing, etc. You'll find that you feel a minor pain due to muscle usage. This may or may not be your fix for self-harm. But in this case, you're making yourself fit!
Lastly, I am a psychology student, but I am by no means a professional yet. What I have told you comes from the training I have received and research I have done/experienced (a close friend of mine used to cut). I hope you can see someone who will help you, because what you're going through isn't something that you or your body deserves. Let me know how you do!
]
More Questions: |