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hard to get.
sorry if its long.
PLEASE HELP...ok so me and this guy *josh had sex 2 times and weve done other stuff. we recently started hanging out even though we've known eachother for about 2 years. he is a year older then me and acts way older then he is and hangs out with a lot older people. he didnt want to tell anyone that we had sex because i am younger and it would ruin his reputation. but after it he ended up telling people. i am with him and his friends at his house a lot and he is always outgoing with them and we act is if we cant see eachother when we are with eachother and other people. when we are alone or with like 2 other people we talk a lot. he acts like an asshole to me half the time and the other half he is nice and sweet. he always wants to cuddle when we are alone and i love it, and then we have sex. ha. i think i might like him and i want to get him to like me. and i want to be more outgoing like him and act like we do when were alone when were with his friends. he seems like the guy that likes the girls that play hard to get, hes a player. i really want this guy to be whipped over me.
SOOOO my question is how do i be more outgoing around him and talk to his friends and stuff and not be quiet?? how do i play hard to get?? (cuz i usually text him first and stuff) how do i make him want me?? and how do i be more assertive?? ( he says he wants me to tell him to do this or do that and not say i dont know or i dont care)
PLEASE HELP ME!! THANK YOU SO MUCH =)
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u sound so much like me when i was younger. && i had to find out in the hard way he was not worth my time. I was 15 && he was 17 I always said i dont know or i dont care, && he wanted me to voice myself. && i seemed as if i was always shy. && I knew him for 5 yrs!! he was my first. so i was crazy for him. he would act diff around his friends more outgoing && me just there quiet!! I tried so many ways to get his attention but it only seemed to behind doors. im turning 20 now && Finally i just moved on (recently) && he went crazy.. But i found someone new. I thought that was love! It was no where near it! when your around that one your just yourself, not shy, you say whatvers on your mind && its all just natural!! now thats love && being with that someone..Its not supose to be you && him && not caring about what others think..
I hope I helped =]
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Well, it sounds as if you need to take back your power in this situation. *Josh appears to be in complete control of this relationship and everything is on his terms. Now, there is nothing wrong with spending a little time and effort trying to turn things around into a relationship you are happier with, but if he continues to not want people to know that you are "together" for any lame reason, then my advice is to cut and run. You should not allow yourself to be anyone's "dirty little secret". Any guy worth your time and effort will be happy and proud to have you by their side, on their arm or in their "bed".
The best way I can offer to find out if he is truly interested or invested in you is to not be so readily available to him. If you are not right there, willing to take whatever little piece of himself he is willing to give you at any given moment, then he might have a chance to miss you, or wish you were there when you're not. It's possible, that this could be a wake up call to him, if he doesn't want to lose you altogether.
So, it might be best to not hang around with him and his friends as much as you usually do. Make him wonder what you're up to and who you are up to it with. When you are not around him, let him text you first, you can always respond like you're happy to communicate with him, but by not sending the first text, you are sending the message that you might be busy with something or someone else. Either way it's more attractive to a guy when you have your own life and your own interests. Now, here's the important part: you don't want to just pretend to be having a life and other interests, you need to really be doing these things. You can't fake it and he will sense the difference in you. An independent, confidant woman with her own things going on can be quite the aphrodisiac for a guy.
Then, when you are around him and his friends, you could show subtle interest in other people there besides *Josh (not to the extent of leading someone else on) just by showing interest in what other people have to say, engaging others in conversation by asking questions and laughing at their funny stories.
In short, my advice is... don't make everything all about *Josh. Your life is all about you. The boys and friends that you have in your life are supporting characters... you are the real star! Remember this always and it will take you far. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
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Act confident around him - guys LOVE girls that act confident. Here is a link to a site that hopefully will help:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Try not to text him first and stuff much, because then it will keep him wondering what you've been up to. So that you can be more outgoing around him and his friends, try to have 1 or more of your friends with you so that you'll be more in your comfort zone. hope this helps some. =)
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