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i know this is really bad... but i can't help it
16/f
hi okay so basically i've been hooking up with this guy. we've been like best friends for like 2 years. he's liked me for these 2 years also. then i started liking him.. we were like almost to the point where we were going out, just like not actually going out. he was going to ask me out but there were some complications.. whatever not important. my point is we were REALLY close. then we started hooking up and it's like i started to lose interest. it was only around 5 times but i just started getting bored of the same thing over and over again. and it's not like we even did that much. i was teasing him a lot though.. (not letting him have tounge when he kissed me, like touching his dick but not giving him a hj, etc.) so do you think that's why i got bored of it? because most of the time we weren't actually like really into it..? i'm like a huge tease even when i like the guy and i just can't help it i just think it's because i'm nervous to mess up and when i tease them it makes me look more experienced and stuff.. ya know? i can't explain it but basically i just feel bad about not knowing if i really have feelings for this guy or not anymore. i know i was like pretty much in love with him before we started hooking up but then it just got.. weird i don't know. i don't want to like lead him on though because i don't want to hurt him and i know he's in this for more than just a hook up. i'm pretty sure he wants me to be his girlfriend but he wants to wait until he's 100% sure i like him before he does that. i feel like i might have just continued to hook up with him because it was easy to do. like there's other guys i could hook up with but it would take a little more effort to like let them know i wanna and stuff. i'm not really sure what to do right now. any advice?
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Well, if you don't want a relationship, tell him that. You need to be honest with him and let him know that while you consider him to be a very attractive male friend, you don't really see him on a romantic level.
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Alright, first off, it's apparant you don't have true feelings for this guy. It's not abnormal to think you are 'in love' with someone, especially someone you've known for so long. However, you have to remember, you knew him for 2 years, but only as a 'best friend'. This often times happens when you cross that friendship line. After reading what you wrote, I think you seemed to (even though you didn't know it then) love the 'idea' of being with this guy. This is a guy you call your Best Friend, so I assume you could talk to him about anything, be yourself around him, trust him with your life basically..who wouldn't want a boyfriend like that?! But when a guy is promoted to boyfriend from Best friend, these feelings often change. I think that you need to break this off now. It's not right that you are leading him on, which again..even if you dont realize, you are. It may hurt him at first, but atleast you are giving him the opportunity to find someone who wants the same thing out of a relationship as he does. Letting him go needs to be a selfless act, not selfish. Remember YOU led him on, so it may take him sometime before you can gain his trust, or before he can be around you as friends (like you were before). Give him the time he needs. Don't make him feel guilty as he has done nothing wrong. I hope that this helps and I truly hope you don't think I'm being mean. My guess is you came here for truth, for honest advice..and well..I come to this site to give that to you. Good luck hon and for your sake I hope that you can get your best friend back with time.
<3 Leslie
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