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The Ten Commandments and Teen Angst.
Hi there! Im female, fifteen.
I come from a pretty strong Christian family but were still really laid back and dont go to church too often, except for my older sister;; she like owns a church. But her husband is a hardcore evangelist. I dont know what it means to me an evangelist, though.
But my family is reallly blessed and weve had a lot of health problems in the family and quite a few miracles.
Im not sure when, but my parents received a prophecy "Both of your girls will grow up to be missionaries, and so strong will their spirits be that all will forget the mother" or something like that.
But I cant help but have my doubts about that. Thats definitely had favor on my sisters part, but I get nervous when she asks me to pray. And I dont know how to pray in tongues. I dont even know why people do it, like my family. I just dont know HOW.
But my main problem is that being a teenaged girl I feel guilty when I want to pleasure myself. I do, but I always feel so bad afterwards that I cant stand to be in the same room as my mother.
Annd, I dont know what to dooo please help :'[[
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Updated**
I am glad to help. The truth is always subjective and from the tiny glimpse I have of your perception of the problem, I am limited in my advice. However, it is obvious that you take that knowledge with the grain of salt and do the best you can. All of life is flawed, but for the creative, it is all useable. I have no doubt that you will do well and flourish. -------------------------------------------------------
I want to scream. Okay, I took a deep breath instead. What the heck does a "strong" Christian family mean? Why doesn't anyone ever say a "brainwashed" or "sexist" or "narrow-minded" or "strict" or "psycho" Christian family?...which would be closer to the factual truth in most cases. And why do people "receive prophecy" about everyone else but themselves...oh sister Mary, God told me he wants you to start dressing sexier or to go learn to sew. Be aware of these so-called "prophecies" that are used to control people. It is like owning your own Chinese Fortune Cookie Bakery and writing out the little fortune papers yourself and then pretending they are true for those that read them. Now for the tongues crap. The Bible does not require you to speak in tongues. Tongues is the least of any of the gifts given in the Bible...read up on it and you will see I am correct. Tongues in the Bible was not gibbly-gook nonsense, but real foreign languages! So, don't be impressed by "Hooba-Wabotho-shimmdigitty" unless it is real Korean or German or ancient Hebrew for example and can be accurately and immediately translated as such. This speaking in tongues crap is about impressing one another in the spirit of ignorance, not in the Holy Spirit. Oh now about touching your own body and the guilt. Well, your zealous family has really done their job if you feel guilty about feeling good. Yikes! Feel guilty about starving children or being a Republican, but not about touching your own body and feeling exactly the way God designed you to feel when God made you..."He" (for the sake of another arguement)made every part of you, so be grateful for your body and your nerve endings...that is not your "main problem." Your main problem is that your family is going to try to control every single part of your life and thoughts and feelings from birth to death. Don't let them.
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Tough situation, definitely.
You're your own person. True, you're fifteen, live in your parents' house and have a certain obligation to follow their own rules. But at the same time, you don't have to believe what they believe. You don't have to plan the future they want you to have.
Masturbation is (or should be) nothing to be ashamed of. It's natural, it's safe, and I can't imagine that God would allow us to feel such pleasure by our own hands if He was dead-set against it. I feel that masturbation is a safe way of exploring sexuality without the problems that another individual can bring to the situation.
Right now, you are restricted by what your parents want for you. It seems like you get along with them reasonably well (at least you didn't indicate otherwise). I think it's important to follow their rules as far as dating, curfews, etc. might be concerned. But don't feel you need to fulfill their plans for your future.
If you want to do something other than missionary work, that is definitely your choice to make. And if you don't know what you want to do, that's okay too. But it's your life to live.
You're still fifteen! Don't plan too hard yet.
Self-pleasuring is nothing to feel guilty over. Neither is an inability or lack of desire to prey in tongues or follow the rules of your parents' church. Be you. Just be prepared to follow some of their rules until you move out.
Take care.
Daimeera,
21/female
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You're fifteen years old. If you didn't have some form of sexual feelings I would either:
A) Think you had something wrong with you, or
B) Think you were lying.
It's normal for teenager to think about sex, and it's normal for teenagers to pleasure themselves. I'm not sure if you and your family think that it's a terrible thing or whatever. But it is healthy. And I think if you feel like doing it, then by all means do it. I mean honestly, you aren't the only Christian girl touching themselves, I can almost guarentee it.
The majority of my family are Christians. But my mediate family doesn't go to church. I've been before with friends, and my grandparents a few times. But as far as going religiously? I don't go. I'm sure I commit all sorts of sins everyday. But, I do belive in God more than I believe in anything else. (I sometimes do question it) I think I am a good person, and I don't think any good God would send good people to hell just because they gave into temptation or didn't go to church every Sunday. So why not masturbate? It's healthy and you aren't hurting anyone! You are only human.
I don't want to speak ill of how you and your family pray, but the whole speaking in tongue thing I never really understood. If your parents are understanding, I would consider talking to them about how you are nervous about the prophecy or whatever it was that had you worried. I'm sure they will be able to say something to you to make you feel better about it.
But as far as being sexual with another person? I wouldn't go jumping into that. It's something you do with someone you love. Not something you do because you are horny. If you feel the urge to have sex with someone, pleasure yourself. Like I said, you won't be shot down for it. It's normal. When you find a special guy you want to spend the rest of your life with and you truely love, you can be sexual with them and go as far as you want with them. But until then, wait.
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