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Regarding my Relationship with my Fiance and Parents.
I don't know if my situation is considered really important, but lately things have been very hard for me. You see I'm a 22 year old woman who has been sort of depressed for awhile. Ok so here it goes... I'm currently in a relationship with someone I love very much for almost four years. I have recently just got engaged last December, and since then things sort of been kind of strained... for one I'm truly excited to get married, but at the same time I just want to ball out into tears. You see my Fiance has just moved down to South Carolina and unfortunately because my family is very strict and have very religious morals, I am not allowed to move down there with him until I'm married. I mean yes I understand that this is normal for most families but at the same time I feel like that things are becoming more and more strained. You see I have just recently visited my Fiance and stayed down with him for a week and just recently came home from visiting, and since then he has been very quiet, and rarely ever calls me. I have been calling him a lot more lately and he's been telling me that I've been calling him every minute and he needs his space, so now I have backed off. But now it seems like he's just not there... I know part of it is because I'm not down there with him and he's living by himself and is practically alone, but it just seems like since I left that he's a little angry or bitter with me. I ask him if there is anything wrong and tell him how i feel about how he's acting and all he does is just get angry or annoyed by the fact that I'm talking about the situation. Also when I try to talk to him about how I can't be there to live with him at the moment, he always ends up saying well you do have a choice to be down here with me but you choose not too. It's just I don't understand, he can be completely sweet and caring especially when I'm not feeling well or if something is happening to me but at the same time he can be cold and have no compassion what's so ever. It kills me every time this happens and I have no clue as to what I should do, I love him very much but every time I think about things with us I want to cry, I have been gaining weight when I'm actually am trying to loose it for our wedding. And it's sad but I don't even look forward to planning our wedding because he doesn't really want to help me plan anything. I know all this indicates that maybe I should have second thoughts about him, but the thing is I really do love him and I know it's cliche but at the same time I really hate how I'm feeling. I used to be a very outgoing, happy person but now I feel like I'm loosing me, I'm paranoid with everyone and everything and am never truly happy. My parents don't really help the situation either. It always seems like whenever my mother is talking I feel like I just want to leave the room or mute her out. I seem to have been snapping at everyone , including my Fiance over the most stupid things and I don't know why this is causing me to be this way. So anyways this is what's been happening, I'm happy, yet I'm not. I'm Satisfied and yet I'm Miserable and I don't know how to fix it. I can't talk to my mother about it because I feel like she's part of the problem, I can't talk to my Fiance about it because his only response to anything is Oh... or Ah I see, I'm just very lonely and I don't know what to do to make me feel better, and hence the reason why I'm asking for some advice. So thank you for reading this and taking the time to look through all this crazy banter of mine and I will appreciate it deeply to hear what you have to say, Thank You.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't have much experience with that (just started a long term relationship a bit ago), but parents really can be overwhelming. For one, I think you need to talk it over with your fiancé. I think he's probably feeling confused in why you're not living with him, and missing you may actually frustrate him, because he feels like it shouldn't have to be like how it is (the distance, living apart, etc), which could be why he doesn't really want to talk about it. He could be confused in totality; his frustrations, possibly with your family, your not being able to live with him, combined with other stresses, like work and such, he doesn't quite know how to handle it all. So, tell him how he much he means to you, and go from there. Tell him how you feel like you've drifted apart, and it's killing you, especially with the wedding approaching.
Next, I think you should speak to your family. Tell them you're going through a bit of a rough time, and that you feel like you need their support.
Another thing is, if you can't live with him, nothing is stopping you from taking a few extra specials trips. Make time for each other, and go out, have fun, do things you love, and that could help with the bonding you guys have been missing out on.
I really hope that I was at least somewhat of a help, good luck & let me know how it goes/if you need anything else!!!
Oh and one more thing:
STAY STRONG YOU ARE DOING OKAY!! Even when you feel it's all going downhill, keep fighting, cause it'll work out okay in the end. Sometimes, actually most of the time, you have to fight real hard for the things you want most.
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