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i dont know what to do


Question Posted Wednesday July 2 2008, 1:58 pm

Hello.

The irony I'm seeking advice when I'm generally the one who gives it. I know this question may seem foolish but I really am confused.

I've been in this relationship with a guy for about two months, recently he did something that made me really angry. I spoke to him about that and he wasn't really willing to solve the problem or compromise rather. The thing is ever since then I have been second guessing the relationship. I also find I don't feel the same around him like I used.

I mean sometimes I don't even feel like seeing him. I just don't know if i'm going through a rough patch because of the fight we had about what he did to make me angry or if I really just don't want to be in the relationship anymore?

I can't picture him in my world if that makes sense I don't know how I am in his. We are completely different and that used to work so well but now I think it may become a problem.I'm also worried being in this relationship may distract me and I have too much going on to be distracted.

I don't know whether I should end this relationship or not or I should keep on working at it? Please help.

:)Sorry its long.


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alisonmarie answered Monday July 7 2008, 1:33 pm:
I can tell you've spent a lot of time thinking about this situation, and I feel for you. You're not in an easy position.

But sometimes with relationships, thinking can be overrated. Sometimes there is a deep gut feeling about what is right or wrong, and then the head overrides it. For example, someone might know on a very deep level (emotionally) that a particular relationship is not right for them, for whatever reason.

But their head comes in and makes up all sorts of good reasons not to get out - maybe I'm making a mistake, maybe this is somehow my fault, maybe this could be THE relationship and I'm giving up too soon. While thinking is a great thing, and hugely valueable, it can also add a lot of confusion to a problem you already know the answer to.

Two months in, a relationship is still fairly new. It's not really the time for huge problems to be happening - if they are happening this early, what could you imagine the future to be like? I apologise if that seems like I'm leading you in one direction over the other, but your question pointed out reason after reason that you don't want to be in this relationship. You haven't really offered any reasons why it's worth sticking to it.

Perhaps take some time to slowly reread what you've written. Experience how it makes you feel, and then listen to your gut instinct. Hunches are not based on nothing, they come from many sources of information - and are usually worth seriously contemplating.

I wish you the best.

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