|
1 year later...
ok...
so i dated my best friend...
and i know your not supposed to...
but i did, and believe it or not, it worked out well.
Unfortunately, after 2 years together, he out of the blue, decided he wasnt sure how he felt anymore, and we broke up.
At first, things were rough, we considered getting back together, and he knew he still had feelings for me.
Here we are, a year later. We are still best friends, and talk every day.
We never got back together, and after that first week, he never told me he loved me ever again.
I have never stopped loving him through it all.
I've seen a therapist, and have pretended its not happening.
I've told him my feelings, then didnt mention it again after he said he felt different.
I've dated others in hope that maybe it would make me forget.
I've tried everything! But, a year later, and I still love him.
I'm not even asking what to do anymore...
I would honestly just like to hear some thoughts on this...
am I nuts or what? should I continue living life unhappy like this? Is there anyhting I havent tried?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Since you're not asking what to do anymore, I won't mention it."smile"
No, you aren't nuts at all, however you shouldn't continue living your life unhappily regardless of this situation or any other situation. I don't think you were wrong for dating your best frienf either. *As you move forward in your life, one day you will end up marrying someone, right? A key indicator of a successful relationship, leading to marriage is friendship* remember that.
By pretending that things aren't happening, you are falsifying fact of life. You aren't being real with yourself, which is going to delay your healing and cause stagnation AND cause you to stay in the past because you are telling yourself that you can't let go. There's nothing wrong at all with having feelings for someone you used to be involved with, there are problems with continuing communication and being friends with an ex if you aren't ready to accept it for what it is, because again, YOU are delaying healing within yourself. There's also issues with dating before being ready. Question for your mind: Can you drive if the passenger's side door isn't closed, even if you opened and closed the driver side to get into the car? You have to have closure before opening new relationships or they aren't ever going to work and you will contine being unhappy. Please provide yourself the closure you need in order to be happy so that you can move on in your life. It takes time, and time heals all wounds, cuts, bruises, sores and pain.
Good luck dear heart! You're a beautiful person full of sunshine, stop standing in the rain - by your own choice and control.
]
The only thing that will ever make being in love with someone wrong is if it's affecting your daily life. That is, if you're still completely devastated by it after 5 years. [Though, who am I to put a time limit on grief?] So, is it affecting your daily life?
If it isn't- don't worry about it. And I'm not going to be naive and say you can just forget right now in some simple and easy steps, because I know you can't from experience.
Just let time pass. Eventually, with time, of course, it will fade, and if it doesn't, well it will. =]
Don't worry about being in love with him. It's alright. You're on speaking terms, and everything is alright. You're still friends, and shouldn't that count for something?
I think you both know it isn't going to work out, so just let time be the judge of what is going to happen.
Again, the most important thing I can tell you is to relax and not let this eat at you. It only makes it worse.
--Jack
(16/m)
]
More Questions: |