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I know that breakups suck, but...
My boyfriend and I were together for about six months. He's 17, I'm 16. We had a great relationship, and everything was fine until he got fired, and then suddenly he broke up with me.
The only reason he gave was that I said I cared about him, and he said I was too clingy/needy for him. I realize now that communication was never his strong point. And today he told me that he just didn't feel the same anymore, absolutely no reason for it.
So, it took me a couple weeks (which for me is a long time) to accept that this wasn't actually my fault, even though he made it out to be that way.
I (mostly) got over him, but I can't get over HOW and WHY we broke up [Me saying I cared about him, and he dumped me out of nowhere] so how can I move on?
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I don't want to play the 'I'm older and wiser then you card' but I probably have been through a few more breakups then you and there is something that I know for certain.
The reasons are NEVER good enough.
Even when the reason is cheating or lying, it still doesn't feel like the HOW and WHY questions really got answered. The answers we get offered are NEVER satisfying. They never feel like they are 'good enough'.
This is a feeling you will probably have to deal with in ever adult break up you have. Mature and intelligent people don't often get dumped over immature things and petty fights; they get dumped because it just isn't working out. It sounds like you are just too mature and self-aware to be in a toxic and self-destructive relationship, but your relationships might still end, and it will be harder to explain away then if you were immature and petty. Deep down, immature, insecure and petty people know why they relationship ended. It ended because it was lousy and they behaved badly. Intelligent, kind and reasonable people will always have a harder time figuring it out.
Sadly, there are no tricks. I find it helps to remind yourself that 'Yeah! His reasons sucked and I'll never understand the crazy guy.' but in the end, you just have to give yourself time. In my experience, being haunted by the unsatisfying answers is in the last part of the break up tunnel. So keep doing what you are doing. You are on the right course and almost through it.
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