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19 year old daughter moving in withboyfriend while parents a
My daughter is a great kid straight a student a a rising sophmore in college.
She started dating her boyfrined at 16 and recently moved in with him as a 19 year old. Her boyfriend has talked about marriage almost from the start. Before this relationship she was not even sure she wanted to be a mom certainly not for awhile.
She has a scolarship thatis based onher grades and portfolio and wants to graduate first n her class. We give her some money in addition to that so she wouldnt have to worry about eating out and we wanted her to enjoy her youth .We bought her a car and pay for all her other expenses.
She recently got a job and is working alot probably to help with the rent(she has an option to have a free dorm room included in her scholarship which she is declining next year if she staysin her boyfriends apt.
he is really a nice guy but I feel like he is way too serious my daughter is very pretty and has a heart of gold.
I dont want to alienate her and have never had to punish her before (that I can remember)
we were permissive parents .
I just want her to reach her full potential and I dont want to be facilitating this relationship. If they started dated five years from now after they finished school and were working I think I wouldnt object to the relationship
My husband is going to talk with her...something we should have done earlier I expect.
Do you have some unbiased advice. We are also worried he will not land a "good job" he is stuggling but hoping to become an engineer but I am not sure he will be able to finish his degree
He is a nice boy but insecure in the relationship which is lkely why they are living together.
What can we do as parents.she knows we dont approve in the level of seriousness already we have talked abut that before
I cnat believe she moved in with hm his mom as cosigned the loan...she adores my daughter as well. I expect his mom knows how we fell and wouldnt approve of living together..should I call the mother she is a single parent
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I think as hard as it will be you have to
do some very hard things. Your daughter will
have to as well.
Sit her down and both you and your husband
should let her no that you will no longer pay
for extras. I know, I know, its hard to do.
BUT, she feels she is an adult so lets give
her all those responsibilities that go along
with that. She is 19, an adult and makig her
own decisions.
Let her know you like her boyfriend. That
is not the issue. However, if she has moved
from your home and into his, he will have
to help her with the needs a parent doesn't
help a "married" child with.
Car, Insurance, school supplies, food,
clothing and all other needs are no
longer your responsibility. They belong
to the adult child and her significant
other.
Just be calm about it. Very matter of fact.
She can secure her future, use the dorm
and be a student or she can be a struggling
student with a live in lover and adult
responsibilities. You aren't cutting her
off, she has choices to make. Lets hope she
makes the right ones for her. Either way
she will do fine.
It probably can't hurt to talk to his mom
though I don't know if she will cooperate.
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