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boy troubles, please help.
Hello, I'm 15/female.
THIS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, HELP IS GREATLY APPRECIATED! ALITTLE LENGTHY.
Okay, so I've known John for almost a year now, we met in school were we have 1 class, and lunch together. We talked in school, as friends. Well the last 2 months of school her met my best friend Jess at a party, they both got drunk & you know what. Well they began to like eachother, which was great. I talked to him about her in school, not badly or anything, but he'd ask questions about a girl he liked, which is normal, right ? Okay well my Jess would fight with me & tell me he and everyone else said I was flirting with him, which I wasn't. So I talked to him about it, he never said I flirted with him. Jess also told him the exact thing, just vise-versa. Well John seemed to think she's jealous of me.
Another time we were at a party, Jess got out of control, John couldn't handle her alone & asked me to help. I did, she punched me in the face. He got mad because she was so out of control & they got into a fight. Well later on that night, he was texting me & seeing if I was okay and if I needed a ride or anything, and got into the subject that she has a lot to be jelous of me for, may I mind you they are going out now. Jess & me fought because her boyfriend talked to me, even though I did know him first..
Now they haven't been going out for a week, and a few days ago he commented me on Facebook and said, 'so you stop talking to me now" and commented my picture saying I was cute. Well I commented him back. & he started texting me again, saying things like he wanted me, would ride me all night LOL, he just kept saying he wanted me, things like that. So later on that night, he called me & was like Jess is retarded, & he three-wayed her with me, her not knowing. And he was a total ass to her, calling her slut and saying that he was talking to me and to give me all his things because he'd be seeing me, knowing she'd get mad. Well Jess and me fought again, because I commented him back and because I was talking to him. After that me & John stayed on the phone talking for almost 2 hours. He says in the middle of the conversation " Honestly can you talk to any guy like this " I said no, because I can't. Well I think he's into me, or atleast wants to 'get busy.' & in his facebook, it says like Thanks to people, I'm 2nd, right after his best friend, I'm in caps, and periods all around so I'd be noticed, he said.
He claims to not like her at all, and be 100X happier without her. Also he thinks she's a slut & liar. Also he always has weird Facebook names about her, like "She has STD's" stuff like that. Does he just like Love to Hate her, you know?
He trusts me a lot, and always came to me for help with her or when he thought she was lying btw.
Now me & him haven't talked for a few days, and he called Jess one night when he was drunk & asked her out.
To my questions,
1) Am I wrong to be talking to him when, I knew him first, even thought he's my best friends ex & she forbids us to talk.
2) Does he still like Jess ?
3) Does he like me or just want to have sex with me ?
4) Should I text him, or wait for him to text me, which he might not do ?
5)Should I give effort to him, or his he 'over it' since he hasn't bothered to text in almost a week.
6) Does he just use me to get to her(to get her angry), as she says ?
7) Any other imput is great!
Thank you so much, sorry for the length & scattered-ness. I will clarify if asked.
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this is INSANE hahaha.
okay well here
1. your not wrong for talking to him as a friend but youy are wrong in talking to him if your saying things like you wish you were with him or wanna get with him too or something because that can come right back around and bite you in the butt. if you talk to him like thatm explain to him that you cant unless they broke up because its wrong, just talk to him liek a friend theres nothing wrong with that.
2. guys are SO confusing about this stuff. hes either
a)just saying he hates her that much and stuff because he wants you to think hes over her (to either get with you or so he has 2 girls..)
b)really over her
c)is doing it to see if you talk bad about jess and then telling her or something
d)isnt over her but he likes you alot more
3. this question is so hard to tell. a good way to tell is to tell him that in order to have sex with someone youd have to be with them for a year (even if thats a lie..) if he says thats gay, then hes a jerk. if he understands, then hes worth your time. also, ask him! ask him if he likes you or if he just wants to "get with you."
4. wait 2 days for him to text you, if he doesnt, text him (: (he may be thinking "why isnt she texting me?? also)
5. dont give it effort to go get with him or go out wwith him but give it effort as a friend.
6. jess might say he uses you to get her angry because shes jealous but i doubt thats true because whats the point of WANTING to fight with your girlfriend??
7. girl just talk to them and dont say ANYTHING youll regret.. but tell the truth.
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Ok hun,
1.you are not wrong to talk to him. I think your best friend is just posesive about him. Probably john must be telling her stuff about you to make her jealous (trust me, guys love cat fights). Just talk to him like you talk to anyone else. See if you are giving out any wrong signals at all.
2. No he does not like jess. Infact I dont think he likes any of you. This guy is bad. He likes to get attention. When jess gave him attention you didnt, which is why he was bothered and so he started talkin to you. And when he and jess stopped goin out you gave him attention and jess didnt so he asked jess out again.
3.He totally wants to have sex with you and leave you. I think that is what he's doin with jess too. This guy is a sucker for sex as i understand.The way he gives you hints about 'riding you' and stuff totaly proves it.
4.Do not text him. Wait for him to do so. And then ask him to come clear of all this. Does he like jess? If he says no then ask him why did he ask her out? And remember a guy is never too drunk to not know what he is doing, right?
5.Do not give any effort ,hun. At school just act like he is just another friend. Dont respond to his flirty behaviour. OK?
6. As I said guys love cat fights. And 2 girls fighting for him is obviously making him feel like king of the world or adonis or whatever...He wants to see to what extent the both of you can go to get to him.
7. I think since jess is your best friend you should give her a call and tell her that john is all hers and that you never liked him in that way. Tell her that you dont wanna spoil your friendship for a guy which in my case is the worst thing to happen.
Just remember that guys will come and go but having a best friend in the present times is rare. And i hope she understands.
Best Of Luck hun,
xxxxxDarkSide89xxxxxx
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