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Is my Ex playing games with me?!?
19/f
Ex 20/m
My ex and I broke up last August, we kept hanging out after that and even almost got back together a couple of times. We hung out in December and talked about getting together again, then the next day he texted me saying that he was wrong. He doesn't think we should get back together because "his feeling have changed." So i made my peace with that and we still talked quite often then he got a girlfriend and always called her when we hung out. So i decided to just to stop talking to him, then he texted me a couple weeks ago and asked if i wanted to hang out. I told him "sure" and it seems like he wanted to be with me again, then he started getting distant again and ignoring my texts. I decided i was not going to text or talk him again until he texts or talks to me first. He text me today to see how i was. . . Well my question is should i stop talking to him and just ignore his text's and calls?!? Is he just playing games with me?! What should I do??? :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you like being the girl he keeps on the back burner, "just in case", keep the relationship going. But, if you want to have a life of your own, stop it until both of you are more stable, even after that you may not want to continue.
It is good to be able to be pleasant to your ex on those chance meetings in the store, or on the street, or even when he wants some advice, but setting up meetings is dating, that is not good for either of you.
If you have read any of my other posts, you know how I feel that love is forever and comes in one degree, where like comes in many degrees. You never lose that love for another person, it is impossible to do, but you do lose the degree of like that you have for a person. As you find out more about them, it either goes up, down, or stays the same. The question is, "is it enough?" It is obviously not enough in your case and your relationship will get in the way of others for the both of you.
When BOTH of you come to grips with this, you may be able to turn this into a loving friendship, without jealousy, etc... involved, that will not get in the way of the two of you continuing your lives, but most people can not do this.
I had a post earlier about Jackie, the first woman I loved, but she did not return it. The thing I did not say was, we lived and grew up in the same town, going to the same school and our relationship stopped when I gave up on her. We were friends, but I could not move on without complete separation. I have seen her once in all these years and the time I did she hugged me, first time ever. Her first statement was, "Wow, you've lost so much weight, look I can even get my arms around you." It was then I realized it was not me she didn't like, it was my weight she could not get past. I think of her fondly, but I know it would have never worked out for us, she was not willing to except me for me.
So, games, yes and no, you are a stop gap when things are not going well in his love life and he needs love. He genuinely loves you, so it's not so much a game, as it is you are a security blanket. (This is the most likely answer.) I will not say what YOU should do, but I will tell you what I would do. I would stop it, if he doesn't understand why, explain it to him, quote me if you like, but get him to understand.
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