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confused to no end
So I had a boyfriend, that i was extremely good friends wtih when i met him last august, well we talked alot and i always went to bed with a smile on my face after our conversations. He asked me out in the beggining of november and i couldnt have been more happier. he dumped me mid may because hes moving soon and didnt know if he wanted a girlfriend still. so he was known as the goofy player type. and i thought i had changed him from that, but the day after he broke up with me, he went back to his playerish self and was all over girls. now when he broke up wtih me over the phone, he told me he still wanted to be friends. now i see him at dances and gatherings like that, and its so awkward because he is all over everyone, and it hurts. the day after he broke up with me when i saw him, it was an awkward hi and hug, and my friends werent being that nice to him so i felt really bad. but i talked to him at it and he even got a bit teary eyed, but i didnt know if he actually cared or not. parts of me think he did and parts of me think he just wanted to make me feel better. well the day after that, i called him to make sure he was okay and he said yeah and that the question was if i was okay, and i said im alright, and im like i guess, i just felt really bad about how people were acting. well now its a month later, we had a dance, he was with this one girl and his one guy friend knew how i was feeling and told him later that night, so then my ex apologized and said he heard i had looked dissappointed and said he shouldn't have done that and asked if i was okay, and i told him he can do what he wants because i have no control over that, and i just dont move on as fast as others, especially because this is my first relationship. i saw him saturday, we hugged and said hi then when we were leaving he said bye and lifted me up, but i dont know. he was even trying to flirt, dance, and kiss my friends? im like oh thanks. i miss the friendship we had, and i feel like whenever we talk its awkward, or i have NO CLUE what to say. and i just want the friendship to be how it used to be. I feel like i have no time because hes moving in a month and a half. i feel like the more i cared the more i made it worse and the more pain i caused myeslf. people tell me i deserve better, but they don't know what i saw in him when i went out with him, it was when i was the happiest, if anyone could tell me what i should do, or how i should feel, it'd be really apreciated, i apologize for the length of this! lol
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Well what other people think really has nothing to do and if you saw something and you cared about him then thats perfectly okay. As for getting your friendship back to the way it used to be I don't know if there is really a way for that to happen. After you date someone everything changes and things will never be the same. They could be good again but never the same. That could be a good thing.
I think the best thing for you to do is just move on, maybe even stay away from him because it is very painful to be around someone that you cared about and lost under measures out of your control. I'm not saying avoid him, just don't attempt to hang out with him and when you do see him just greet him as normal and go on about your business. It is going to be hard to get over him considering you said he was your first relationship and everything, but it will come and things will get better with time.
Hope I Helped.
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first of all, it doesn't matter what people couldn't see in him. what matters is what you saw. and yes maybe you could do better.. but you didn't want to, and it's your choice your friends are suppose to support you no matter what. and since he's moving you guys can still talk on the phone or over the net. it doesn't have to be a final goodbye. and he cant' be over you if you guys were talking and dating as long as you said. even if he is a 'player type'. he was just putting on a show trust me. tell him you miss the friendship, and most of all you miss him. there is nothing to be ashamed of. and if he totally rejects what you say, then it's sad to say this but maybe it's time you find a new guy, one that can also make you feel like so special and happy. there are more guys out there dear, and ones worth fighting for. you have to decide if he is worth fighting for or not. also, friendship after a breakup can be very difficult because of awkwardness. you need to just give him some space possibly, and yourself too. hope i helped a bit. :) goodluck dear.
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