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Atachment Issues
I have some real bad attachment issues. I'm recently out of a relationship and I feel lonely, even though nothing's really changed. I didn't see him that much anyways, but I really want someone to care besides my family... and my only friend I see as a brother at this point. I just really want to feel like I won't end up alone like my mom. I know I'm 19 and I have a long time to find someone special, but I just have this paranoid thing going on. My shrink says that it's something I'll grow out of, but also that a lot of bipolars (like me) have similar problems and that they lead to major crashes. I'm medicated but I'm so scared of hitting that low, of being alone, and things along those lines.
I also feel attachement too quickly. Some guy I just met has been texting me and I get butterflies hoping that MAYBE we'll date. It's been like an hour... and that's not healthy...
How can I cirb this attachment thing?
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Not a professional here, by any means, but I have been there and done it, and for me it wasn't attachment issues as much as it was self-esteem issues. It showed itself as attachment issues. If I wasn't in a relationship, I wondered what was wrong, and would take any relationship, no matter how bad, over no relationship at all. For me, the trick was finding an alone-time activity, one thing I could get lost in, that I was proud of, that was mine alone. That gave me a distance perspective on everything else going on in my life at that moment, and from there I could look at it more objectively and decide, "Yeah, I really do see this person as good for me," or "Yikes! I'm trying to get myself hurt again! Where'd my balance go?!" For a lot of people, religion helps. It did not for me. And here's something else...I did MUCH better with a psychotherapist than I did with a psychiatrist. I saw a psychiatrist once, so that I could get meds, and then as needed to get the scrip renewed. The rest of my therapy was with a therapist.
My advice for avoiding that "crash" would be...don't enable your disabilities. I made myself miserable by making excuses for my behavior. I "couldn't help it" because I was "mentally ill." Yes, I am...but the rest was a load of crap designed on a subconscious level to get me attention. Now, if I were OCD...I could maybe get by with the "couldn't help it" argument. I wasted a LOT of time being afraid.
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