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going to a wake and funeral for the 1st time
hi, my bffs dad shot himself thursday and the wake is monday and the funeral is tuesday. can someone explain to me what you do at a wake and funeral, whats the difference? i have never been to either one and i never had someone in my life die before and im worried i wont be able to handle it or something like that. im a strong person, but im not good with helping people with there sad emotions. any advice at all would be appreciated!
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hes not getting buried, hes being creamated if that makes any difference
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I'm so sorry for your friends loss.
A 'wake' is a viewing of the person who's died and a service for that person where you talk about that person's life and their achievements and also what their funniest moments were. A funeral is when you watch that person getting buried.
I had my first last year, for one of my class mates whose dad died suddenly in the night and even though i didn't know him that well (only by sight), i couldn't stop crying and I view myself as a strong person but when somebody cries, you cry as well. Not a lot of people can handle it, it takes a really, really strong person to hold it together and to support others. Just comfort them just by putting your arm around that person and just being there for them in their time of grief. Remember, a wake is to celebrate the life of that person, not to grief about the loss of that life.
Once again, my condolences,
triquetra
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I'm sorry to hear about that. A wake is like a "viewing", sort of... since he shot himself, it will most likely be closed casket. It's generally at a funeral home, and you go in and sign the guestbook, and then there's a room where there are pictures of him and his family, and his casket is in the room too. I had a friend who shot himself (accidentally, too... very sad) and that's what it was like. You don't really talk very much at a wake. Just try to be there physically for your friend. I can't imagine what she must be going through. The funeral is at a church. You sit in a pew and then they bring his casket in. They talk about his life, pray, and stuff like that. Then, you leave, and they take the casket to the cemetery where there is a burial. Most people have a private family burial. Don't worry about being a strong person or not- mourning is okay. Just be there to hug your friend when she needs it, or to listen to her if she wants to talk. I don't think she'll want to talk about it for a while though. And when she does talk about it, there's nothing you can really do to make things better for her... except for listening to her and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Mourning takes a long time, especially when it's someone close to you. I hope things turn out okay.
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