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I saw a question you answered..
about this girl who needed to know how to ask her boyfriend for oral sex or fingering. Well, you said like, she'd tell him if he was upsetting her, or something like that. I can't tell my boyfriend [or anyone else for that matter] when they are. I never have been able to. How do I do it? I guess I'm like, too afraid to. Like, I'd feel like...I dunno, like, mean if I did. What do I do? Thanks so much! [everyone always tells me I need to learn to communicate because it'll make my relationship better, but, I dunno]
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If I understood your question correctly, you want to know how to open up about your feelings. Ok, I used to be really shy about expressing my feelings with men, especially when they upset me. They would ask me over and over, "are you upset" I would say, "no, I'm fine" and then my actions would be the total opposite, because I was still upset cause we never got it settled. You know what would happen, they would always get mad at me. "Why can't you just tell me when you are upset, who cares how I am going to take it" they would say. "Let me decide how I am going to react, don't decide for me" they would say.
I realized I was scared, scared of them not caring, scared of them getting mad, scared of them thinking less of me, scared of them downgrading my feelings. Those fears though were all just creations in my mind. The fact is, you are the most important person in this world. There is no one that should come before you. I don't mean before your ego or selfish desires and feelings. I mean the true you, your balance and happiness. You gotta be happy, and if someone is hurting you, you gotta be able to express that to them and they should respect how you feel and you should be able to work out a compromise with them. If you are surrounded by people that you cannot express your self to without them treating you differently or disrespecting you, then you are around the wrong people. Most likely though, they are just fears in your mind and nothing more. The best thing to do, when you have something really, really important to say and you are intimidated to say it...Write It Down. I did this for years. This gives you a chance to re-read it, see if you said what you really mean, edit your self and change what you said. You will be supprised how much easier it is for people to read what you are saying, than to hear it. You know why? They get to take their time and think about every statement. :) A lot of times they will respond by writing cause it may be just as hard for them. But I'm telling you, everyone that I have talked to that has been in a successful relationship of any kind, has said to me, "Communication is the Key."
Do hope that this helps you out.
Thank you for asking me a personal question, I feel special, and I hope you feel special too. Peace.
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