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stress
I am the.."advisenator" of all my friends. Now, I odn't know how but all my friends are depressed and are the type of people noone would suggest me to hang out with but I help them mentally a lot. and they tell me all their problems and stress and i help them feel better. But now it feels like it's all added to me and im starting to go down. What can i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
you care...I try to help people to as much as I can and at night I find myself thinking about how I can help them with what they are having problems with. you need to realize when it becomes to much and tell them you are there for them but you are on emotional overload and can't handle much more right now. you have to make sure to separate their problems from yours. I always feel like other's problems are mine and that I need to solve it for them...but they need to figure it out but you can always give advice when they want it.
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Sometimes it's hard being a good listener and a good friend because often it does feel like the all problems have just been passed to you. The way I think of it though, is that now the burden has been divided between people so you each aren't weighed down as much as if it were just one person carrying it. It kinda brings comfort to me when I feel stressed about my issues along with my friends. It's wonderful that you are such a great friend as to help and listen to these stressful problems.
One way to relieve some of this stress, and I know this might sound silly, is to tell yourself what you advised your friends to make them feel better. Think, 'What advice would I give one of my friends?' and then give it to yourself. Follow your own advice. Trust me, it helps. If it helped your friends through their rough times, then shouldn't it help you too?
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My dear friend,
Set a limit and take time for yourself. For example, don't take calls after 9:00 p.m. or don't be afraid of telling friends that you are too busy to talk. Meditate. Think to yourself. Maybe you could recommend your friends to professional counselors. If it wears on you too heavily, talk to a counselor yourself and get professional help.
-Linda
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