|
how do i tell her?
thanks for the advice for "am i showing signs of becoming bi?" it helped but how do i ask my bisexual friend about my bisexual thoughts if she thinks im straight cuz ive lied to everyone when they ask me, including her.
please, how do i ask her for help to understand what im feeling if she doesnt even know the truth?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
that is a delicate matter. personally, I'm a straight guy so I never have to go thru what you do. I will do the best I can to help you though. it sucks having a problem and not being able to go to your closest friends. personally, the closest thing in my life to that would be if I was interested in a girl that is way out of my league. I'd not want to admit what I think or feel to anyone because they would think I'm foolish. but not saying anything means nothing can ever happen. it is a little bit alike. you want to say something but you don't want judged. you don't want this to get out at the moment. I don't know if you have interest in your bi friend. but lets look at the situation. is she the type of girl that would gossip a lot? if she is, then perhaps you shouldn't go to her period. but if she is kind and understanding, then I'd say to try to hang with her alone. that way if you were to have a personal conversation there are no other ears in the room. let's say you are talking and she is talking about a specific girl or about liking girls. maybe just ask something simple like "when did you know you liked girls?" then just say that you've found yourself wondering about girls. I hope you don't mind me asking you a few questions here. maybe I can help you a bit better. when you think of girls, is it just a bit of attraction? do you find yourself wanting to date a girl or liking when your girlfriends brush up against you? what I'm getting at is do you just like how they look or do you know you want more? because, if you know you want to experience either dating or having a physical relationship with a girl then at some point you will need to come to grips with that. maybe now is not the time to experience these things. this is stuff you will need to decide. one thing you have going for you is that so many girls are open about it nowadays. maybe you aren't ready to talk to your bi friend just yet about it. maybe you just need to take a baby step prior to telling someone in your immediate circle. here is an idea. most people belong to a social networking site like myspace, facebook, myyearbook. if you do already, then browse profiles for bi girls. make sure the profiles look legit. there are lots of guys that pose as bi girls. but lets say you you find 10 profiles that you like and trust then just shoot them an email saying you want to make some friends. pick girls not too close to where you live. this way you feel no pressure about opening up. but just talk to them and as you do, admit that you are curious. maybe you just have to hear yourself say to somebody else that you have these feelings. but I think to some extent that may help you become a bit more comfortable with your sexuality. maybe you need to go thru that before you can talk to your friend. I know you are scared. you don't want your life to change to the worse. you don't want to tell your friend and feel like you made a mistake. you'd feel like you opened up such a can of worms. I do think that more than likely, she would be a bit understanding though. I don't think you would get a disappointing look. I don't think you would be disliked by her. your straight friends may not understand. but she should. I do want to help you the best I can. So feel free to keep the emails coming. I'd be glad to do what I can to make things easier for you.
]
More Questions: |