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humorist-workshop
i don't beleive in love anymore...
I know I'm only 18, and i'm very young, but I just don't beleive in love anymore. Cause i've never seen it actaully work. Yes i beleive in it to some extent but in the end we're only kidding ourselves. Its not real most of the time. You see real love in the movies all the time, but how many times do you see it in reality. Hardly. its like a once on a billion chance or something. You may think its love but later down the road the love it lost somewhere and you are only with that person because you don't know any better. At least this is what it seems like to me. I've had alot of interests in my days. I've had alot of almost boyfriends, never acutally a boyfriend though. I attract some guys, yes... they are sweet and friendly, some are just creepers, one is in love with me, but i don't really like any of these boys back. I'd hate to go out with them if i don't really like them the way they like me, it just doesn't seem fair. I don't beleive i should convince myself to like anybody, it shoudl just happen. I'm really shy at first, but once i find my groove i'm alright. I want to be able to find a guy that i'm totally attracted to all around, and i've only found one of those... we had a fling, but it faded a year ago, and sometimes i still think about him alot, and i really miss him.i guess i'm not completely over him. but i know that it will never work out, i'm away at college he's still in highschool, and we don't talk anymore. So i want to move on, i want that confindence where i can talk to anybody, i don't want people to think i'm unapproachable anymore, i don't want to just tease these boys who like me, tis not fair... but when i'm comfortable with the boys.. i'm jsut natually a flirty person. I'm not exactly sure where i'm going with this, i don't know what my question is, i just need a new set of eyes to look at me. My friends can't really help me anymore. I just want to know what you think... thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well... you know i felt that way too. im 18 too by the way. ok, im going to tell you my life story and hopefully you'll understand. im sorry, this could be long. and by the end you will probably ask why i told you all this stuff..im open and honest...perhaps too honest lol. well, when i was a little girl, ive always been love obsessed. ive been molested, and my mom and dad used drugs on top of that drank and my mom got drunk and passed out constantly, and was gone for weeks at a time. the only person that loved and cared for me was my sister. She became my mother. she being three years older than me, took care of me. made sure my hair was brushed, made sure i was fed, and etc. and etc. I sure hope youre not feeling uncomfortable. well, by the time i hit 13 or 14 i had my first period...you can guess who told me about it... my sister. my mother wasnt really always there, but its ok. well, since i wasnt able to get love and attention all the time as i wanted, i became obsessed with finding it. Strange isnt it? I found my reason for why i came on this earth early. when most people dont find it in a lifetime. it was to find love and be loved in return. i was soon looking for love in all the wrong places, and soon enough gave up my virginity at age 17 to someone i really loved. but i just realized, he was just like every other guy out there. he used me, as another tried... i used to be free to trust...but he helped me see that not everyone is worthy of trust. all he did was lie to me over stupid little things. he would cheat on me and then tell me and i would still be by his side. im a very loyal and devoted person. anyway, a year or so after we broke up, i was miserable. I desperately wanted to find the person i was meant to spend the rest of my life with. one thing ive noticed about love is that its not gonna find you by just sitting around. you have to look for it. keep trying. i dont know whether or not you believe in God, or believe in wishing on stars...but here's how i met the man of my dreams.... i was sitting alone in my room, tears streaming down my face and talking to God. this is what i told Him: "God? all i have ever wanted was for someone to love and protect me. for someone who is willing to put me before everyone else...someone loyal and someone who is attracted to me in every way possible. to see me as a friend, as well as a wife. yet everytime i give my heart to someone, they break it. Why out of all people was it me? why not to someone who deserves it?" ....foolish i know. but i then asked him for help to find this person. and ive even wished on stars and in the bulletins everyone posts on myspace. ...well, i met Corey on the 24, of May. at precisly 3:00am. he told me that when he saw my picture on my myspace, that he had to find and get ahold of me somehow. he asked for my number and i asked my sis for premission, since shes good with guys. she told me it was ok, so i had him call. at first i didnt take him seriously. but we talked from 3 to 8 in the morning. nonstop. he told somewhere between all that time, that he loved me. although he put it off. he kept saying he wanted to tell me something. but didnt know if it was the right time. he was scared that he would scare me off in some way or another. but he didnt. although, i still didnt take him seriously. he fell in love with me, because we've experienced the same stuff in our lives. all he wanted was to feel wanted and understood. the night he met me, was that he was thinking of suicide...until his best friend sean told him to look on myspace for someone. and there i was. so we dont think it was a coincidence. we both see each other as miracles from God. i can fully understand why you dont believe in love. maybe you still need some time... or maybe you simply didnt look hard enough. but please, try to look. theres someone out there for everyone. although, not everyone finds their match. hurry, and find them. im sorry that its too long. i hope you find what you are looking for in good time.
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i guess "love" (as you would share the same opinion as me), comes at a different time for everyone. it's true, probably 8 out of every 10 relationships fail, and it shouldn't be that way, but to face the facts, people aren't perfect. sometimes it is just a waste of time. people who aren't in love, or have never been, tend to see the reality of things, which is why you can't convince anyone out of love. most do fall out of it eventually. why? we'll never know. but love IS something that's just there to blind you. you're right, it would be VERY unfair to date someone for the wrong reason, not to mention it wouldn't do you any good either. teasing isn't healthy for anyone. not everyone is meant to fall in love in their adolescence. maybe it's actually a good thing, because you do skip a step of failed loves and mistakes. i guess it depends on how you view it. the fact is, it'll come looking for you, so don't waste time trying to look for it unless you're certain you're ready. hope i helped. much luck <3.
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