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I dont know what to do!!!!


Question Posted Saturday October 27 2007, 6:53 am

I have a sister whose about..young.. when she was younger her and her friends were sorta idiots..They were a bit sextually active,. she told me about it.. but shes the kind of gurl who likes to feel sad and cry about her past alot worrying baout her future. she regrets what she did, and i tell her taht she should forget it and move on, but shes sort of bothering me wth her problems eery day by Crying ALL THE TIMEEE!! shes afraid she prolly lost her virginity.or popped something. I keep telling her that she didnt. But shes still crying and saying what if this, what if that. Ugh i dont know what to do. shes a good person and now shes smart and is religious., But shes still worrying about it.

shes going through sort of a depression phase, and even thinks about suicide...I KNOW!! Anywyas.. wats ur advice?


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familyfirst answered Sunday October 28 2007, 4:33 pm:
First of all, if she is crying all of the time and concerned about her past and future and really regreting things she has done, she needs someone to lean on. She needs you, her big sister to be there for her. Don't look at it as she is "bothering you" with her problems but rather an opportunity to help the little sister you love who is going through a difficult emotional/mental ordeal.

Secondly, a few things you may be able to tell her are these: Based on the idea that you said she is religious, I will say the following: God loves sinners. Do perfect people belong in church? No. They don't need it. Church is for sinners to go and learn about God and repent their sins, etc. Remember Jesus spent all of his time with adulterers, tax collectors, sinners, etc. God loves your sister so much he "knows every hair on her head". She is his daughter and as many times as she goes to him for forgiveness, he will accept her.

If she feels THAT guilty about her sexual nature when she was younger, perhaps she can put that to use? Volunteer at a program through church or the Red Cross or something on teaching abstinence to sort of "repent". As far as "popping" something, that is not anything to worry about. The membrane that "pops during sex" can pop with LOADS of other things as well. Sometimes it can pop with tampons, dushing, bike riding, horseback riding, simply age, etc. There is NO concern there. Even a virgin can have a "popped membrane". If she is worried about no longer being a virgin, have her pledge abstinence until she gets married. This is not popular (for some terrible reason) this day in age but still lots of people do it. (I did and I have a wonderful married life with kids!)

If none of this helps, encourage her to get help. Either professional therapy or someone at church she trusts. She clearly is upset about things and just telling her to forget about it is the last thing she needs to hear. She needs to feel loved again. She needs to feel she can love herself, trust herself. I am sure your sister is a great person. The fact that she is so remorseful about things she has done proves this. She needs a big hug. Give her one for me too while you're at it. Even a total stranger can see the good in her!

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kaylakrum answered Saturday October 27 2007, 6:16 pm:
Ok well you have a little sister and so your telling me her and her friends did some stuff together like sex and she is afraid that she lost her virginity well this is a really hard question she is now older she thinks alot about her past and she is a senstitive person then she should just forget about it and move on everything will be ok and even thinks when she is older when she is ready for sex boys will think its hott that she lost her virginity hopefully she is ok with you i hope i helped you with your proble.

Tell me how it goes.
Tell her Good,Luck for me
Thanks

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