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I think I'm going to leave...
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He's a really sweet and intelligent guy who could have a lot in life. It's great...about half the time. The other half of the time, he just leaves junk all over our apartment and doesn't bother cleaning up. He leaves me to do it. I do most of the cooking. He doesn't give me the quiet time and private space that I need, which to me is disrespectful of my needs. It's even worse, then, that we live in a tiny efficiency; I can't exactly leave the room when he won't give me quiet. Last week, he bought me a book and a computer game, and then used it to guilt trip me about why he doesn't have his own laptop. Then, the other day, he whines about how we haven't had sex in a week, when I'm clearly stressed out from my new job and tired half the time.
Today, the first thing he does after he comes home from work is to complain. He doesn't say hi, or ask me how my day went, or anything. He just starts complaining.
I love him a lot. He can be a really great guy, but his inconsideration and clinginess is driving me to my wit's end. Also, these are things we've discussed multiple times: what we both need and want out of this relationship. And he always promises to fix the problem, but he doesn't delivier. I want to leave him, if only temporarily. Maybe it'll help him get himself straightened out, and give me a chance to think.
The problem is this: we just signed a lease together in August, so if I leave, or if he leaves, one of us is going to have our credit totally screwed over. I'm unhappy right now, but I don't see that as enough merit to risk my financial future. Also, I don't have a car, and right now, I'm walking distance to work. But if I stayed with someone, I don't know how I'd get to work or anything.
I guess, really, that I'm also afraid. I'm 18. He's 23. This is my first apartment, and I don't know if I could do it by myself. I don't know if my check would cover the bills. Or if I'd get lonely sleeping in my bed by myself. I'm really young though, and I know that, so sometimes I just think that I never had enough adventure. And now I feel like I'm stuck in a situation I never wanted.
Anyways. Sorry about the long, tediousness of this question, but now I'll get to the point:
Should I leave him, if only temporarily? And if I do, is there some way I can avoid the financial rammifications of that?
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Sounds to me like things are going sour. Weather it be permanent or temporary, I think I would leave. You guys have tried to work out the problems, but you can't do it on your own. He has to hold up his end of it.
You are 18 years old. Realistically, you should play the field a bit before settling down. Otherwise, how are you going to be sure of what kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with? I'm not saying this to say you should break up with him, I'm saying for you to keep that in mind.
As for your lease, you can talk to your landlord and explain the situation. In special situations, a landlord can let you out of your lease. The way they see it is, they can always rent it to someone else.
ygs-29/f
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