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Husband keeps recent ex's photos
I would like your opinion. I have been with my husband almost 7 years, married 3. We love each other very much I know. But the first year of our marriage he became involved with his employee. He also admitted to me he was 'obsessed'. I don't know the extent of their relationship but they worked in a bar that allowed them to spend hours together late into the night. I know he would even puposely schedule her to work nights they'd be together.
During their relationship I found numerous photos of her on his pc, disk drive, and cell phone. He knows how much it hurt me and it almost cost us our marriage. A year ago he told me it was completely over and after that she quit her job.
It's been almost nine months since I know of him seeing her and we dont talk about her but recently I found several more photos of her on his computer. Do you think he keeps them for memories, thinking i'll never find out. I know they were not there nine months ago. Should I confront him and dredge up the past or leave it be and continue to hurt in private?
I think about this several times a day and sometimes cry about it.
I welcome any advice you can give. Please reply to my e-mail, I would appreciate if you not post this anywhere. Thank you.
age: 24
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bring it up. find out what he's up to. if you keep letting him "get away" with what he's doing, he's gonna be more and more confident that he can get away with more, and he'll probably hurt you even more. why hurt in private ? relationships are based on trust and honesty. if that's not happening, this relationship isn't. ask him why they're there. if they're new pictures, it must mean he contacted her somehow, otherwise, how would he get pictures again ? there's no point in staying in a one ended relationship where the guy is cheating on you and hurting you. no man is worth the pain. if he keeps this up, i suggest you get a divorce. if he'd cheat on you once, he'd porbably cheat on you again. if he can't tell you the truth, you're not gonna get anywhere with him, and again, NOBODY is worth the pain you're probably going through right now.
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Well, we can't reply to an email address we don't know, for starters. Second, your question is completely anonymous so no worries.
When you post ask a question on this site, it is posted in the pool for us to answer. If you don't want it posted in the pool, you should ask an individual columnist.
You need to say something. You can't just keep this inside.
If you can't talk about it and work it out, what kind of marriage is that?
If you plan to go through your married life hurting in private to save your husband's feelings, then you have a long, bumpy road ahead of you.
I don't know if he keeps them for memories, but you need to ask him why they are there.
If you don't have trust and honesty in a relationship, then there really is no relationship at all. You are just going through the motions.
Don't be afraid to dredge it up. If these pictures weren't there 9 months ago, then you have been deceived, and you need to get to the bottom of this.
You deserve to know what is going on. You deserve for him to respect you enough to tell you the truth.
ygs-29/f
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you really should talk to him about it. if you don't now, it'll build up and one day you'll just explode about it. that won't be good for anyone. he shouldn't have those pictures anymore either, thats just crap. i hope everything works out for you =]
good luck,
-hannah-
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