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confused girl. !?
okay, i have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years total. on and off, only once. which was last november-february. while we weren't together i had sex with this guy i knew for forever named brandon. after my DUMB fling with him was over, jon(my boyfriend.) and i got back together. and we're happy. now, it's september, and brandon sent me a message for the first time since feb, to talk. well we have been IMing eachother for two weeks. idk what im feeling . i feel guilty for talking to brandon. and i know something is still there with me and him. but he told me not to breakup with jon b/c he isnt sure me andd him could workout. what should i do?
i love jon, i dont want to end it with him. how do i get over brandon for sure, completely.
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The answer here is simple, but maybe you need an outside point of view to see it.
Stay with Jon. You said you love him and you don't want to leave him - so don't. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are at an age where you want a committed relationship you need to be able to form relationships with the opposite sex without getting attached to them in that way...or if you do then don't act on it.
So maybe there is something there with Brandon. A spark, an attraction. So you go out with him(after breaking up with Jon. Again I'm not sure what age I'm dealing with here so I'm going to say it - don't cheat on him. At least break up if you're going to be with Brandon.) and things don't work out like he thinks it might. What then? You can't go back to Jon, you'd have probably broke his heart.
Your question was how to get over Brandon once and for all...well....
There are always going to be people you are attracted to physically and mentally no matter what kind of relationship you are in. Marriage, dating, whatever. If you EVER want a good lasting relationship you need to take step back and just get over it - to put it bluntly. You can't switch relationships every time you're attracted to someone...or you'll never have one for more than a few years or less.
All I can advise is that you don't flirt with Brandon. Don't give him anymore reason than he already has to hit on you. You can talk to him - that isn't something to feel guilty about. Just don't do anything that could weaken the trust of the relationship you already have by flirting with other guys.
I'm sure you wouldn't want Jon to do that to you.
In the end its your choice of course =] Your attraction for Brandon should lessen once you take him out of your mind as a possible lover/boyfriend. But by all means keep him as a friend, if you can.
I wish you and Jon the best of luck :]
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