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i just wanted to share with you
date:july 2007
me
lately right after i told you about that party i went to and met that brother of my sisters room mate you sound jealous. and you don’t know why you were but to ask you this, what is going on between us? is something on your mind? what is bothering you? i did tell you how i felt and it is not right to play with my mind. you seem like you are not respecting how i feel and i don’t like it. just tell me what is going on! its time for me to move on and now it seems like you don’t want me to and why is that? you have no idea what i am going through, if you want to know then ask!
if u does care about our friendship then please don’t ignore this.
friends share!
lara
ok well my reply is this... to me i don’t think its right to force someone into a relationship (even if you to did not talk much.) i don’t no if that’s how you saw it or not, but that is what i saw when you told me about it. and i did feel jealousy yes, i felt the same when you were going out with aaron and anthony.
i felt (for that split second) that if you did happen to get a boyfriend then we would not be as close of friends as we are now any more. i felt like i was falling behind in life. everyone seemed to be moving forward but me. and it’s not just you either.
i know you hate hearing about my family drama. but they have a part in it as well. you see my cousins are getting married... and there younger than we are!!!!! their ages range from 17 to 20. and when they talk about it i again feel stranded. it may sound stupid but that’s how i felt. i never meant for you to think i’m trying to play with your emotions.
if that’s not what you were looking for in a reply the e-mail me back ok?
talk to you later
chat room with me and jane
me: why do you think i am going to leave you behind?
lara: i don’t no really. it’s just a feeling i get some times, icy cold feeling
me: but i am not i mean i do sound like i want to move on but there were reasons why
me: but i not sure if i want to tell you why
lara: i guess i’m just afraid of what may happen when you move away
lara: we won’t get to hang out any more
me: this might shock you but i have to say this
me: okay the reason why i went out with anthony and aaron is because to get over u. i
hated myself and i wanted to die. i became depressed because of my stupid likings to you and i thought it will be the best to move away so you wont get in to my depression. i never wanted to tell you about it but i had to. i hid away from my problems and worry about everybody else but me. i don’t want to let go of you and the others and the only way to keep it strong is to always try to stay together
me: i don’t have a choice i have to go but if i did have a choice i would stay. i don’t trust myself and i don’t care about myself. but people say you have to love yourself to have love share (something like that)
me: umm yeah that’s why sorry
lara: i guess i can sort of understand that
lara: i don’t want you 2 b depressed though
me: i can’t stop it
me: it won’t stop
lara: if you don’t mind me asking why do u like me?
lara: i’m nothing special
me: let’s see i ask myself that every day
me: the answer is i don’t know, i don’t know how it happened but it did. but i am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
but i really can’t explain it, its hard to put into words.
me: that’s why i want to leave
lara: clear your head type of thing?
me: yeah that’s why i think
me: i got mad at you when you said you were mad when i told you about that guy i met. because i
don’t know if you liked me too and i didn’t want you to. i rather see you with someone else. but you said the reason why you got mad is because you didn’t want me to leave our friendship and focus on some guy
me: but i wont do that, hell i hardly pay attention to my last boyfriends i like to spend time with friends and family
me: r you still there? we can talk about something else if you want
lara: yea i’m getting ready 4 beds. i got work 2 marrow
me:can i ask you something?
lara:yep
me:did you wanted a boyfriend? because it souned like you did on your reply.
lara:no not really
the rest of the chat was about work, and thats was it.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know how Lara feels. For some reason, it just hit me, but I totally get it.
I felt this way with a close friend of mine. He got a new girlfriend, and I felt really left behind. Just like Lara.
- I'd explain to her you won't leave her behind, ever, because she means a lot to you.
- Apologize for trying to "force her into a relationship".
- Explain to her you're alright with just being friends. (it's better than nothing, or at least, that's how I thought about my relationship at the time.)
And try to move on. I know it's hard, and it won't be easy, but you've got to do it. Try to find someone else, that you're attracted to and want to be with. Find someone who makes you feel good about yourself, wants to be with, etc.
Good Luck!
-Laura. (15-f)
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