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The same boy problem i've been having...
thank you so much for answering my question and i really thought about what you said and i'm hoping that you are right about how he feels about me. But, I still don't know. When I told his best friend that I liked him, he told his best friend that he didn't like me. And now we've gone a a few weeks without talking and as far as I know, he's still dating that girl. Should I tell him how I truly feel, tell him that I'm completely in love with him, or should I just remain his friend. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I don't know if I can just be his friend... it's quite hard and as much as I joke about it with him, his dating other girls does make me jealous and I am in love with him. I ruined a potential relationship with the same guy twice, because I can't get over this boy. Should I tell him how I feel for real and if I do, how should I go about it? Sorry, to keep bugging you about this but, he means a lot to me and I don't want to lose him.
Thank you for your help and advice.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
ok so we have to be clear of the issues at hand
first,you love him
second,you won't be able to get over him as stated,and it's affecting your love life
third,it is hard to remain his friend while you have a secret longing for him within.
among the possible paths are:
remain his friend,this is extremely tough as you like him and it's hard to know someone so well and like them but not be their friend,trust me,i've gone through it before,unless you lose feeling for him,which doesn't seem to be happening at any moment when hearts are floating in your mind.lol
so to me,this path is out
2nd,this is a rather harsh path,but if you can't be his friend and love him at the same time,maybe end the relationship,it'll be hard,but you might forget about him and move on from there
again,this is a tough path,so i would vote out.
third,is of course the most possible path but the most dangerous,
the first two paths are rather safe you know?like a comfort zone,just remain his friend which you are,or stop calling him and the friendship,which is relatively easy,it has no really dire consequences.
the third one would be to confess to him.here we come to the "keep and regret or tell and know"
you can either take the first two paths in which you keep your secret but might regret later in life in what would have been.....
or you can tell him and get ready to be hurt or suprised,it depends on what person you are,are you ready to take what he has to say?if you aren't then don't continue this message
if you do,then first what you got to do is this...
don't immediatly put on your shoes and rush over to tell him,those dramas only work in movies.first,talk to him again,connect and rekindle your friendship once more.invite him out to movies and parties.important:ask his friends what he likes,seriously,if ever there was a turn on for guys it would be similar interest,i know a friend who is nuts over this gal because she smokes and drinks like him and another who is head over heels over a girl that plays the guitar and likes rock music like him...so yeah. ask his friends what he likes,fav movies,fav music,fav fashion,even fav gal types,some like short hair,long hair,brunette,fair,whatever.if it seems like i'm asking you to change that's because it is....lol,i don't mean change your wholeself but you must have heard of people saying"i would change for you",who knows maybe this guy has come into your life to change you for the better.anyways,just take it slow,get to know him then maybe during a walk in the park,where there is noone there,so save the possible embarassment,never ever confess in a crowded restaurant,extremely awkward.then tell him,again not over the phone,it's impersonal and gives him time,if you want to know the answer,it should be right away,better good or bad.
so say,"hey *name of person*,i really would like to stop and take the time for telling you what a wonderful friend you are and how much fun i have had,i know most ppl enjoy the ride so much that they forget to say anything about the journey so i would just like to say you are really amazing to me.*name of person*..then pause for awhile,then say" i would like to take our friendship to the next step,i have made my decision and now i'm asking you but whatever it is i just want you to be happy with or without me because i love you."
and that's it,a short direct confession,important is to tell him you appreciate him cause it really shows that you are not taking anything for granted and that you are a thoughtful person,so he'll feel touched and also the end,which states that you just want him to be happy,so he understands.
answers,he could just plain out say no
or yes!!!
or think about it,which is good,cause any confession takes some time to think about as it's again personal,not on the phone,but at least you got a answer.so continue to be his friend if he says this don't straight away go crazy and start sending him love messages or anything,it gets creepy,say"ok take your time and i'll be waiting,thank you for listening,"important: say thank you.
anyways that's it,yeah,of course please don't beat me or curse me as i hold no responsibilites of what might be,as i said,if you cant take the pain it might cause,go for the earlier two paths and ignore this dangerous risky gamble which just might make your day.you never know..
p.s:erm,since he's dating,it's best to wait till he breaks up or something,cause it might cause conflict to him,makin him feel bad and stuff about cheatin or dumping the girl
byes
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