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what should i do about him?
18/female.
This guy and I have been talking since the end of April. He had broken up with his girlfriend he had been with for four years a few weeks before. They still talk & I have no problem with it because I'm pretty sure they'll never date again. She just used him to get money out of him, you know, a gold-digger. Anyways, the guy treats me pretty good & I like him a lot. There's just something about him. I'm not sure what it is really, but I've liked him since the first day I met him. The feelings I have when I'm around him aren't the same as when I've been around other boys I've liked. But his sister told me he was looking for a girlfriend & that's around the time we started talking. So I figured he would ask me out sometime soon. Well, today we got into an arguement. I think this is the conversation that started it..
him: I'm going to a party & get drunk in a little while.
me: You gonna talk to all them girls there?
him: Yeah, if there's any there.
me: Alright then, you won't be seeing me anymore.
him: Why not?
me: Well if your gonna talk to other girls I'm not gonna stay around.
him: Oh, I didn't know it was like that.
I told him I was just playing around, but after that he really wouldn't talk to me. I asked him what's wrong & he kept saying nothing but you could tell by the way he acted something was wrong. So I waited about an hour for him to start talking to me again & he ended up going outside with his brother. So I started to leave and he asked where I was going and I told him home. I stood there for a minute waiting for him to give me a hug, because usually before I leave him he'll give me a hug, kiss, and he'll tell me to be careful. Well, he walked inside so I followed him in there. He asked me why was I acting so pissed off & I told him I wasn't. So then he walked back outside to his car. I went right behind him, said bye, got in my car and left.
Now I know some guys act like this a lot, & this guy has even told me he can have mood swings from time to time (not serious bad ones) & he said if he didn't act happy or talk much that would be why. I'm just hoping that's what this whole thing was, but I have a feeling he won't call me. So I was wondering, should I just wait this little arguement thing out (this was the first time we got into a serious arguement & it wasn't even that bad) & see if things get better, or just go ahead and move on?
Because I really like him. I'm pretty sure he likes me as well. He asked me one time about my "boyfriend" & I told him I didn't have one & didn't want one. He asked me why not & told me I should settle down. So I asked why hadn't he settled down & he told me, "Well, I've been with the same girl for a month." (talking about me) I think he isn't sure about getting too close, like relationship-wise, to me though since he leaves for basic training for the Army in September. But I just need some advice about this whole situation. Sorry it was so long, but thanks a lot!
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i've been in a similar situation. the best thing to do is apologize for whatever you did. just say "sorry if i offended you or made you mad" dont say "im sorry for whatever i did" because then sometimes they get mad because they think you don't know what you did, even if you don't know. apologizing is a quick fix sort of thing. it can make things go back to normal quickly, or you can try calling him, not waiting for him to call you. just be a friend to him, see whats wrong try to work it out. men are difficult you never know how they'll react, my methods are just from experience.
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Hi.
I think firstly he might just be trying to get over his ex-gf. Having been with her for so long it will naturally take time so he may not be wanting to jump into anything heavy just yet.
As for the argument, I have to be honest and say that if a girl had said that to me even I'd be a bit weird about it, especially when it was said to me by someone who isn't even my girlfriend. I think in a way it might have been seen as being clingy or even an ultimatum, that oif he wants to talk to other girls you ain't going to hang around with him. Also, bare in mind one very important point, which was what you had said to him during your chat with him when he had asked about your boyfriend. You had said you didn't have one and didn't want one. When you had said that it may have gave him the signal you don't want anything serious but more to the point - you said that and then got into this argument about him talking to other girls. My immediate thought would have been, "She doesn't want a boyfriend (i.e. doesn't want me) and she doesn't like it when I talk to other girls or try get someone else..." Hope you see where I'm coming from. :]
I think the biggest problem that you may both face though is that him going to the army, which might make it hard to hold any kind of a long term relationship depending on how often he will be away and such. It might be the reason he is closeto you but doesn't want to go any further so prefers to do so with someone else he might meet (so as not to spoil things with you by it only being a short term thing or a fling). On the other hand I could be totally wrong and he just wants to give himself time to be single and enjoy himself especially since he had been in a very long relationship prior to this. Jumping from one relationship into another very quickly is never a good thing and he may know this (as hard as it might be to believe since guys can be pretty oblivious to any of this).
I think the best thing to do might be to try talk to him and more importantly find out where you and him stand. I would say move on (given he will be off to the army soon) or at the least keep your options open (even when you think you're with the perfect person there's always someone better out there) but since you do like him a lot and he may even feel the same I think it will be better to at least know where you stand for certain before you decide to walk away from it all. That way you'll know for certain at least. Obviously this incident that happen will be something you will both need to talk about as well and attempt to resolve becuase maybe you were only joking but in a conversation (especially an online conversation) it can be very hard to see what's a joke and what isn't because it's all just words, there's no tone there to go with them to determine how you're saying those specific words.
Whatever you decide to do though I hope it works out for the best, good luck and I hope I was some help.
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