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I don't trust my boyfriend !
I think my boyfriend is cheatin on me agin,cause he used to have two more girl friends before. He is so naughty , i dont trust him at all and everytime i tell him that, he gets mad at me,I know he doesnt love me but i cant help myself because i really love him i see everythin around me but cant do anythin about it. He does not treat me right and i can not be sweeter than this, Somtimes i feel like i'm a stupid,the way he talks to me is so bad ,he never appreciates the things that i do for him eventhough he doesnt do anything for me.He is so changed now and my problem is i keep puttin stuff inside i cant tell him how do i feel! help me please
Thank U
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Im sorry to keep u waiting for an answer especially in your hard time. Before I go any further, its one thing to just not trust your boyfriend with no good reason - in that case - I would say make sure you're not jumping to any conclusions or making assumptions that may not be true. HOWEVER, since you say he's cheating on you AGAIN...you have good reason not to trust him and you SHOULD trust your instincts because if something doesnt seem right or it just doesnt add up...chances are you're most likely right about it and something Is very wrong. Most cases, once they cheat on you, even if you take them back you will never be able to regain full trust over his actions and that usually leads to the destruction of your relationship whether you wanted to make it work with him or not. The combination of him not treating you good and cheating is the worst though, because there is not much more worse he could do to you other than physically abuse you. Because then the question really lingers...what ARE you with him for? That's the most confusing part, Ive asked myself the same question when I was treated poorly and cheated on and I just couldn't find a legit reason. My mind said to leave, but my heart said I think I need him...but I could also do better without him. I know it can be very difficult when you've been with someone for an amount of time, you become accustomed to them and feel comfortable with them. The down side is you also become too attached, where even if youre not happy anymore youre scared to let go and face being alone. We all know that feeling, and its the hardest thing to overcome, but you need to find strength in yourself and regain your confidence. How are you ever going to find mr. right who will treat you like you've always hoped for and be everything you want when youre wasting your precious time on an asshole that doesn't deserve you. You need to ask yourself if its really worth it to be miserable everyday letting him make you feel worthless because hes not there for you in the ways he should be. Ask yourself if you can picture yourself marrying him, if the answer is no (which it sounds like) than youre wasting your time. If youre not happy anymore then what is the point of being in a relationship? Especially, if he's not the man for you. True love isnt worrying about where your man is or who he is with, and its definitely not true love when he makes you feel less than you are. You have to start loving yourself first and start taking your strength back from him, he needs to know that you deserve more and if hes not giving it to you then you're gone. I know that's really scary and also easier said than done. You feel stupid (like we all have) when you know you shouldnt be with someone who treats you this way and deep in your heart you do know that you shouldnt stay and in your head your'e thinking how can I love someone who does this to me...at least thats what I was thinking when I was going through the same stuff. But this is the part where you need to know, you're not going to be alone forever once you leave him. Believe me, you go through the bad ones to find the good ones, BUT the key is, you have to LET GO of the bad ones in order to get the good ones, and each time you leave someone who's not right for you, the next one comes closer to being the man of your dreams or he WILL be the man of your dreams (its not always an easy process since we have to deal with all these painful heartaches when leaving the asses that took our valuable time away from us) but in the end, after you are able to get away from them, you will see that it was definitely the right choice, in fact, you'll be kicking yourself going what the hell was I thinking being with a loser like that...honestly, im not even lying. I guarantee you. The hardest part is finding yourself the strength to do that. Especially when they sucker you back. The best way to go about that though (if this is what you decide) is to distance yourself after you break it off (im not saying dont talk to him for the rest of your life(unless you want it that way which you may find you might) but just for a little while after you break it off until you find strength, That means do not talk to him and make yourself busy doing other things to keep your mind off of him. Time is the cure to any heart break no matter how bad, but its on you to give yourself that time in order to heal yourself and be able to start making smart choices for yourself. It allows you to think clearly and see things for what they really are. Its much harder to do that if you talk to them right away because theyll only make you believe what you want to hear and then youll take him back and hell be good for minimum, a week, and eventually they go back to being the same loser again that you hated in the first place. Thats when you kick yourself even harder because your like, what the hell did I get myself back into? There's only so much you can take and its your choice whether you want to take charge and make your life good again or stay with him till you reach your breaking point and waste more time...either way, you have to face that this relationship probablly isnt going to work out so its better to break it off sooner than later. The pain hurts, but each day it gets a little better, and eventually it doesnt hurt anymore. I was surprised, because I felt exactly how you felt, it took me a while to find my strength, but I left my boyfriend, and at first it hurt, he was my life and now I had to face a new life (one on my own) but I couldnt go on being treated the way he treated me (which was not good) and I knew that I would rather be single and pain free than made to feel worthless by someone who didnt deserve to have me (a girl who treated him good and gave him the world) When I left, i distanced myself from him and just focused on getting my life back, chilling with my friends, doing the things I did before I met him. The first weeks were the hardest, but then the strength in yourself comes out and then it was like a whole new world of possibilities were opened up to me. I thought I would be alone, but then I had so many guys who wanted to be with me, and I looking back on the guy who had me blinded, I will kick myself over and over again for giving myself to someone like that. Now, Ive been with my bf for three and a half years to count and hes way better than all my past bfs. Not only that, I feel stronger in myself because I found courage to take myself out of a bad situation and now since I know I overcame that, I feel I am stronger in myself and can overcome anything. Whats funny is that when I finally found the courage to leave, not only did my bf want me back, he began to feel really bad for what he did and now he lives with the regret that he lost a good girl. I am telling you this because I know it will be the same for you! You just need to get yourself there. You deserve to be loved and get back in return for what you give. Getting through these hard times helps us learn things about us and helps us find out what we're made of. If he doesnt love you , why should you waste your love on him? There's certain criteria's for whether things are fixable with a guy, somethings arn't fixable:
if you know that they're not the type of guy you want...because then you have to face they will never be.
Its also unfixable if they cheat on you more than once (some girls leave right away, and if you decide against leaving right away, the most one should ever have is one chance only (because if they truly learned from their mistake they will never do it again, if they do it twice...shame on you for staying.)
If he hits you or abuses you (there are no chances, you must leave).
If he treats you bad (in some cases if its done out of ignorance and they are able to learn from their mistake and never do it again, then it may be fixable because they are improving and becoming a better person (but thats only out of cases like they forgot to call you, or they were inconsiderate of you by putting you off to go do other things or not including you...things like that, those are done out of ignorance and can be fixed because they can learn how to be thoughtful.
However, when they treat you bad by being mean to you, taking advantage of you, disrespecting your feelings or unappreciative of your value and the things you give to him...that cant be changed because they dont have the ability to be better because they just arent a good person with a good heart. You can only hope to guide someone to be who you want, but you never can change someone. Most of all, never be with someone out of fear of being alone or lonely, only be with someone if he makes you feel good and you beleive he's the one you've been looking for. You were single before you met him and you were probablly happy too, so dont think you can't be happy again without a man. Thats usually the guidelines of whether or not you should stay with someone. Don't treat yourself like a door-mat, dont let him wipe his feet all over you. There are lots of potential fish in the sea, so throw back the fowl one and get a better one. So, I know this is pretty long but its just that I know what you're going through and how close you could be to happiness if you just found the courage to think and act for yourself with you (not him) as your first priority....Take him off the pedastel you put him up on because that pedastel should be reserved for the guy that deserves your love. You're already living broken hearted so if you leave him you don't have much to lose, but you do have a lot to gain, like self respect and true love. But, you have to be available for when it comes looking. No matter what you decide, I hope its the right choice for you because the only way to be happy is to take the things that are making you unhappy out of your life. You sound like a good girlfriend and guys would be lucky to have you, and a good one would appreciate all that you do for him and wouldnt take you for granted...I hope this helps you and I know its hard, sometimes it takes more than one break-up and make-up to know that it just isnt going to work out or that he really isnt the guy for you. But try to make a move for the better, because staying in the same spot is only going to sink you lower. GOOD LUCK, and if you need anymore help or anything, feel free to talk to me cuz it really is hard keeping it all in :)
P.S. I know I dont have all the details to your relationship so, if you do decide to stay with him then be sure to get all your concerns and problems out in the open with him (make him listen to you because if his actions are affecting you negatively, then he needs to hear it whether he wants to or not) Try to find ways that will resolve these problems between you guys (trust issues, the way he talks to you, etc) Put out ideas of things that would make you feel better if he did, ask him if there is anything you can do for him because your pretty sure youre doing everything you can and whatever he might say, explain to him why you do or dont do those things. This way you will have a better understanding of eachother and why both of you act the way you do in the relationship. Most of all, you need to be able to regain your trust in him if you want to make it work so that means youll have to try to forget everything in the past and start over with him (which is sometimes hard to do) but without trust there is no relationship. If you find that after doing this it still doesnt work, then you should really start looking at finding love with someone else because the love you have for him is nothing compared to the love you could have with someone else (better love out there.) If he wont listen to you or take you seriously then that means that he doesnt respect you at all or care about your feelings and thats the total opposite of what a girl needs in her life. I hope you find happiness:)
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