15/f. i've read over a lot of your answers and i like how you are honest, so i decided to ask you about my little problem. i like this guy named mike, and we are good friends. we hang out a lot & talk on aim and everything. now i'm not a clingy person and i'm not obvious about who i like, so as far as i know, he has no idea. the only problem is that he has a gf who goes to a different school and she hates me! i've never even met her and she already hates me!
it all started when this girl in my school told mike's gf that i was "all over him" at a field trip at school. which i wasn't and mike even told his gf that i wasn't.
now the other day one of mike's gf's friends IMed me about mike! she was asking me like if we hang out a lot, if i liked him, and why he lies to his gf and stuff.
i just don't know what to do! i really like mike, but i don't want to get in the way of him & his gf since we are friends and i want him to be happy.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? lbwhite89 answered Tuesday June 26 2007, 6:45 pm: Well if it were me, I wouldn't even respond to this girl's friends. She's just pure jealous that her boyfriend has a close female friend. Maybe the reason Mike lies to her is because SHE'S the one who's the clingly control freak. Maybe this girl should hear that. She's getting all worked up like the guy is cheating on her when he really isn't. She needs to become a little less desperate and obsessive and start to trust the guy she's dating.
As for you, it's really good that all you want is for him to be happy. I think the best thing to do would be to not interfere in his relationship. Breaking them up won't bring you two closer together. Just let it run it's course and maybe after they break up he'll start to like you as more than a friend.
I know it's hard to like someone that you can't have, but it's part of life. You're just going to have to decide on if you can be just friends with someone you have these feelings for. You need to ask yourself if his friendship is worth putting yourself through this. Judging by your question, I'd say it is.
Cux answered Tuesday June 26 2007, 1:51 pm: If you want what is best for Mike, and you want him to be happy, I can honestly say [because you said you like my honesty =)] that it would be advantageous to just take a step back from him, and just let him and his girlfriend be for awhile. This serves two purposes:
1. You don't seem like you're all over Mike, and people won't think that you've got a thing for him.
2. You'll give Mike a chance to be with his girlfriend, and maybe see that he doesn't like his girlfriend as much as he thought he did. Heck, he might even realize he likes you.
BUT! Don't completely ignore and neglect Mike. Just spend a little less time with him than normal.
I really hope I helped, and I really appreciate that you've visited my column.
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