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Pregnant and Father not Supportive and I am at breaking poin
what do i do? I am 3 weeks from having a baby and I feel my partner is has an addiction. I feel the last 9 months have been all about him and I am starting to really resent him for the way he has treated me and for his wanting to go to the pub takes priority over me and my feelings. I have moved across the globe to be with him and to be treated like this breaks my heart. I feel I have spent the weekends of the last 9 months in the pub watching him drink or at home alone in the middle of no where whilst he is out with his buddies. He seems to believe his actions and attitude will change when the baby comes and I guess I am kindof waiting hoping that is true but I really dont think it is. I feel he is an addict as his friday, saturday and sunday night have to be spent drinking or taking drugs. He is 31 and I am 29. He does not see his drinking and partying as an addiction as 'its only on weekends' but this weekend has really proved to me that it is.
He will not change especially when a baby is screaming for attention when he could be out away from the responsibility.
Last weekend he begged for me to go to a festival with him which i did and on the way home he said that was it for him and he was going to stay home on weekends from now on as its so close the due date. This weekend he tells me the day before that we are going to a wedding, he could not drink responsibly he had to get himself totally drunk. He stayed home on saturday night and acted like a complete miserable so and so commenting on me personally and on how he would like to go to the pub and take drugs. Then he has a few cans of beer and is all happy and then decides he wants to be nice to me. I went to bed. Sunday he acts like a miserable so and so and hardly speaks to me all day, takes me to lunch and on the way home tries to stop by the pub 'for one' he can not do one drink. I say no so he drops me off home and goes to the pub. He cannot stay home one weekend out of 9 months without getting himself wasted. What do I do? I have tried being quiet about his behavoir I have tried being very vocal, i have tried only commenting on the positive things he does, I have tried not commenting on how it makes me feel but rather how he diserves to be treating himself better. I cant help but feel that he is not interested in a life with me and the baby and that he is just waiting for me to leave. But at the moment I cant fly and I have no support around me. I have organised 2 back up labour partners just in case he is not around or is not able for it.
I am just really sad that this is the case and that my pregnancy has been this way. I am angry at him for I thought we were perfect for each other yet as soon as I fell pregnant life for us changed dramatically. How do I get on with focusing on the baby and me when I have to worry and tolerate his behaviour. I have tried kicking him out but he wont leave, he knows I have no where to go at the moment. I am at the end of it, I am sad and lonely and cant tell my family about what is happening as they will worry and beg me to come home but I cant for a few months at least. I always imagined that pregnancy would be a happy time for me yet here I am trying to be strong on the outside when inside i am really sad that he has not allowed me to enjoy the pregnancy and that he does not seem excited about the baby at all. I want my baby to have a father but its looking like he just is not able and that makes me really really sad as i thought he was the one and that our relationship was 100% solid. I dont know how much longer I can be strong for? What happens if the baby comes and I break down? I feel like I am at breaking point already. can you suggest anything that may help me remain strong and positive and keep a little self esteem?
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My Goodness! You do not need a man like that. You should go to the police about his achohol and drug abuse and tell the family what has been going on [the full story]. If you don't, your only endangering yourself and your baby. You can get someone better. Look, this is hard to type but my dad was the same way and he almost killed me and my mom. My mom still has scars. My mom took control and got the help she needed. Now she is providing me a great education, a nice big house, and I have a wonderful step dad that is like a real dad to me. My mom works with people like you and some of them end up hurt and in the hospitals and some aren't even that fortunate. Take control now. Don't hesitate to get your life in order. You can do better and you will. Make sure you have a restraining order [for you and your upcoming baby] over this man and make sure to move away. FAR AWAY.
♥ Mz.JENNiFER
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