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Suprise Suprise
I posted a question on here a couple days ago saying that I had this friend who I liked but we live extremely far away from eachother and I didn't think it would work out.. Well anyways I went to a boarding school this year and I met him there, we became instantly friends. I had an eatting disorder this past year and he stuck with me the entire time. We still kept in touch after I left school, and he wanted me to come visit. Well yesturday he was going to fly home he lives in Washington and I live in NY. So I left him a message on AIM, thinking he would get it when he got to Washington. Well his away message comes up, and it says "I love you Alyssa and I can't wait to see you" (by the way my name isn't Alyssa). So I guess he's had this girlfriend for a couple months, and he never told me. Now it wasn't like we were dating, but he told me he liked me as more then friends. And I drove 2 hours to go friggen see him, and he never bothered to tell me he had a girlfriend. I'm crushed yes, angry yes, but at the same time I just want to still be in his life. Like I want him to still talk to me and everything, and I still want to visit him in Washington. So I tried calling him and he didn't pick up. I assume that he is busy seeing since he hasn't been home in like a year or whatever. But I don't know if I should just move on, or still try and be friends. And please don't tell me do what my heart tells me to do.. Thanks! :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well you have every right to feel crushed like you said. That can be really devastating. He was dishonest with you and that's not right. If he cares about you and respects you and values your relationship (platonic or romantic) he should be upfront with you. In his defense though, maybe it was kind of like the "don't-ask-don't-tell-policy." However, even if that is the case he shouldn't have told you he liked you as more than a friend. Keep in mind that it is HIGHLY likely that you were occupying his time while he was at school and then he likes going back to his girlfriend when he goes home. I do think you should mention how you are feeling to the guy. Tell him that you feel lead on, mislead, and frankly, used. Let him know that you are hurt, but are respectful of the fact that he has a girlfriend and that when the school year starts you will be fine just being friends with him. After that, take the rest of the summer to allow yourself to heal from this and learn to deal with how it is going to be like when you go back to school in the fall. Then, when you are seeing each other again, make sure to keep it on a friend basis, constantly reminding him that that is all you are. I don't think you should visit him over the summer because that will not allow you to heal completely and can confuse things more. In the future, just be careful with who you open up to. :)
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