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Situation
Ok, so me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little more than 7 months. During about the first 5 months, it was all about me, even though we got into fights once in awhile, but got over them very fast. Then next 2 months have been hell. We used to hangout everyday but now he said he wants to hangout with his bestfriend, which happens to be a girl, at least once every week so we have to take a day off just for that. We used to hangout everyday and if we didn't, he'd get really upset and miss me a real lot. I really do think he has a crush on this girl, even though she has been dating his best friend for over a year now. He is always so excited to hangout with her and ditched me quite a few times to be with her. They have also done sleepovers while I've been upset about the situation. As much as he tells me he loves me and will never breakup with me and says he's gonna marry me, I don't believe it. He would get in fights with me over VERY little things, such as hanging out with a guy friend and try to breakup with me over it. I guess the question is, do you think he has a crush on this girl even though he denies it everytime, and what should I do to be a better, or good girlfriend?
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you said that you guys fight all the time well hanging out with this girl is his way of not getting in a fight or his way to get over the fight. I also have a girl best firend we have been firends forever it seems like I just like her as a firend so i think he thinks the same way with his best firend. Hanging out with her maybe just saying i don't want to break up but i do want to take a break.
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To be honest I can't say if he has a crush on her because I don't know him or what he is like around her so you would be a better judge of this than I. I will say though that being around each other constantly is NEVER a good idea. Eventally couples who are like that will get sick of each other becuase you're always around each other. It does happen as I've seen it happen with a couple of my best friends who were both going out with each other. I never used to see them when they started dating because one would never come out without the other and they always wanted to be with each other. This same thing was what their downfall was becuase eventually they just got fed up with each other.
I think all couples need to give the other half some space so they can balance out time with each other as well as be able to spend time with friends too. It may be this is all he is asking for and after 5 months he realised this and realised he was neglecting his friends. It might be a good idea to talk to him about this and if it is the case then by all means make use of this and spend time with your friends too. Go out, have sleepovers - hang out with your friends as well so you can spend time with them as well. No matter how good a bf/gf you have everyone needs their friends.
If this other girl is dating his best friend and they have a long term thing going then whether he has a crush on her or not would not make any difference I think since I doubt she will want to risk her relationship with your bf's best friend. You're bf may even have a crush on her and if he does try not to let it get to you. I've always thought of crushes as the liking of someone you know you can never be with or never have, kind of when you like a movie star or a football player. You like them but you know it will never happened. It may be the same with how he feels towards her as well but then again it may not even be the case at all. Don't take it personally if he does have a crush on her though becuase it doesn't mean he loves you any less or is lying about him loving you. We all have crushes - I'm sure there's a movie star or a music idol you have a crush on? It happens with everyone but the only time a crush becomes dangerous is when the person wants to take it further or if the crush starts to get in the way of the relationship. Talk to your bf about all of this and make it clear if he has a crush on her you won't mind but you need to know and if it is the case you need assurance he would never take it any further or act on his crush for her. At the very least at least you may get to the truth. If he gets angry or starts shouting about it stay calm and tell him you want to talk about this once and for all to get it out the way and finally to clear the air between you both becuase you both can't carry on in this way as it seems to be strongly effecting your relationship with each other.
Good luck and sorry for the long reply.
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