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Twin trouble...
19/F
My boyfriend of nearly 8 months and I are living together (I just moved in) and we're both university students. I love him dearly.
He has a twin brother. This brother has no social life, or social skills for that matter. I like him, he's a nice guy.
The problem is that my boyfriend constantly puts his brother ahead of me. I know that their bond is deeper than the bond between us is, because they've been together for 20 years of their lives, and I'm just a new addition.
I posted a while back about a ruined 6 month anniversary, in which my boyfriend rejected my plan of cooking him a nice dinner, in favour of Taco Bell and playing video games with his brother. The same sort of thing keeps happening. Even though he doesn't live with us, this evil twin seems to always be there to ruin our romantic plans, and it's really wearing on me.
This guy is also rude and critical towards me (in my own home!) and my boyfriend keeps excusing him.
Now I find out that this twin wants to switch schools so that he's going to school at the same one as his brother. And he wants to live in the house (student house, holds 8 people) that we're in.
I don't want to be the b*tchy girlfriend, and I understand that family is very important to my boyfriend. If this guy moves in with us, it could ruin our relationship. I've tried discussing this with my boyfriend, and he got angry with me.
My question is, what do I do? I love my boyfriend, and I want him to be happy, but this brother has become quite the inconvenience.
Any suggestions as to how to deal with him?
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First of all, try talking to him again. some times a little arguing can help. Tell your boyfriend,"can we please do this together, just us, not anyone else, not your brother" or "your brothers intering in our relationship" or " i feel left out, and if you do care about me...show it, dont let inone get between us..especially your brother" something like that. Personally i would hit the guy but i guess your not like this, so think about my advice that i just gave you.
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I'd say try to ignore his brother. If he annoys you, blow him off. If your boyfriend wants to spend time with his brother, that's fine. But if he ends up blowing you off, maybe you guys wern't really meant to be.
I'm also curious, is your boyfriend outgoing and social? Because if he is, his brother is just as capable of being social and outgoing as he is. One thing I'd recommend is maybe trying to bring his brother out of his shell. Although I hate assuming, I'm going to assume some horrible trauma or something like that happened to his brother when he was little which caused him to be like what he is now. Maybe if he could get over it and find friends he wouldn't be so much of a burden.
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