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Ex boyfriend
So i'm the kind of girl when i was younger fell for older guys and everything they said..and i learned the hard way with those expierences. One of my boyfriends went to prison and so when we broke up it was really easy for me to get over that..because i never got to talk to him, see him, anything! so it was really simple for me. But when i was just a jr i started liking a sophmore, i took things nice and slow with him cause i had learned from past that would be probably be better. We got together a couple weeks after hanging out and dating. We had our ups and downs we weren't to serious at the beginning. As summer came we got really serious. We hung out every day we loved eachother so much, we did everything together went golfing bowling boating swimming typical things couples do when in love. and 8 months into our relationship we had sex. it was perfect. He didn't take my virginity but i took his. But i made sure it was what he wanted before we did anything. After that we were even more closer and even more in love..it seemed to perfect but it was reality so it was even better. we kept having sex for about 2 months then decided to stop cause he wanted to become clean so he could go on a mission..LDS thing. it lasted for a month. then we kept having sex after. everything was great. but then sex became everything to him not so much me. He was also very into smoking weed. It became an everyday thing to him he would ditch me for it..I cared that he did but I let him do it every once in awhile..but he lied about it a lot and then he broke up with me a month and a half ago. I was the one who had the harder time with it. he is fine..moved on likes another girl. but i can't get my mind off of him.. whY? why is it that i was his first love..but he can forget about me so easily? But i have the harder time..?
Sorry so long. but its hard to sum up a relationship of over a year!
--thanks:]
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Well I'm going to be brutally honest, you might not want to hear some of these things by the way. Also, it's hard for me to create an opinion about people without first getting to know them, remember, everything I say could possibly be very wrong.
From what it sounds like, you're also the type of girl that falls very easily for guys, and often the wrong guys. As you mentioned, one of your boyfriends went to prison, and considering that you dated him before you were a junior, that must've been a very, very bad decision. You also picked a boyfriend who is a chronic stoner. Again, a bad decision.
Your question is why he can forget about you so easily but you have a harder time forgetting about him.
First of all, you mentioned your ex who can easily forget about you smokes a lot of weed. From my experience, people who smoke weed ocassionally are probably just the average teenager, people who smoke it A LOT have problems. I would know, I was that kind of stoner once and I know a lot of people who are. None of them live a happy, carefree life and I didn't either when I smoked. Your ex boyfriend also found another girl, this might have helped him get over you. But I think the main reason he can get over you so quickly is one of the two reasons
1. He's not over you, he's pretending to be.
2. He has problems wiht attachments and wasn't as attached to you as you thought he was.
Although number 1 is a possiblity, I'd say number 2 is more probable because chances, he has problems, and I'm certain he has problems because of the constantly smoking weed thing...and maybe because he is a mormon :). I don't know what his problems are, but I do know that they're big enough to cause him to develop a weed problem. Since he has emotional problems, that may have prevented him from getting as attatched to you as you thought he was. When you were with him, did he ever hint that there were things bothering him in his life?
Next, I think i know why you have a harder time getting over him. You genuinly fell for him. Even if you could, I wouldn't recommend getting back together with him because I think that he has emotional problems(which is reflected in the chronic stoner thing). I'd recommend keeping yourself preoccupied by doing stuff that would increase your self esteem(self esteem is everything when you're a teen). Stuff to increase your self esteem ranges from anything productive such as sports, writing, music, volunteer work, etc.. I'd also recommend dating better guys.
Sorry I couldn't help more, sometimes I wish I coudl say magic words that could make problems go away, but when it comes to something like this, the ability to make the problem go away depends on your decisions and how much effort you put into your actions
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You know, it could be a lot of different things. If he is really over you, maybe he had been thinking about breaking up with you for a long time, and is already used to the idea. Maybe he got tired of having to hide his drug use and lie about it, or maybe he felt like you were controlling him about it (don't worry, you did no wrong there). If that happened, then it probably bothered him until he couldn't take it anymore, so it had been on his mind for awhile. Another possibility is that he's not truly over you. Maybe he knows you hate the drug use, but can't quit. Or he doesn't want to be in such a serious relationship anymore. He is young and now is the time for him to date around, because later in life is when he is going to need to be serious. Maybe he couldn't stand the thought of being 'married' when he was a teenager. Maybe he's change so much as a person, that he doesn't feel the same spark that there used to be. Or maybe its the opposite. Everything has become a routine and comfortable, it just got old.
See, there are a million different possibilities here. However, you should worry about yourself rather than him. I know its difficult, I do. Easier said than done. But, you really need to think positively about this. Yeah, getting dumped sucks, but you have to move on sometime, and better sooner than later. Now you are free to go out with your girlfriends whenever you want. Flirt with whoever you want, dance with whoever you want. You don't always have to be thinking about what he would say or what he's doing. Being single is a lot less stressful than being in such a relationship at your age. No one says you have to wake up tomorrow and be completely over him. That's unrealistic. But you need to get in the mindset that things are going to be just fine. Don't sit and wallow for too long. Get up and go out on the weekends. Meet new people. Only then will you be able to reintroduce yourself as just you rather than "so-and-so's girlfriend".
I'm here if you need anything else =)
Good luck!
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I wouldn't say that he forgot you so easily. He will never forget you, believe it or not. You were together for over a year, AND you took his virginity.
Guys may forget your birthday and they may forget your wedding anniversary, but it is slim to none chances that they will forget who they had sex with for the first time, their first love, or their first long term relationship.
Just because he likes, or is going out with, another girl, doesn't mean you aren't still on his mind, I promise. Actually, you can take comfort in the idea that you should feel sorry for this other girl, because she is likely a rebound girlfriend. Though I'm sure you already know what that means- a rebound is someone that he would be dating to try to get over you.
Guys don't show emotions in the same we ladies do. We are vocal and outward with ours, whereas they generally tend to hide theirs for "alpha male tough guy" reasons.
"What do you mean, Joe? Of course I was never sad and crying over Stacey! I'm a MAN, you know. We men folk don't cry over the ladies! I got over her so easily! My new girlfriend, Wanda, is my living proof..."
Yah. I had enough guy friends growing up to have heard THAT being said plenty of times before, but you know they were just trying to act tough and unaffected. Catch my drift?
I just hope you understand that just because he doesn't appear to be having a hard time with it, doesn't mean that he isn't.
As for you having a hard time getting over him: Have patience with yourself. You just broke up from a very long and serious relationship. It's going to take a while to get over it. They say that it can take half of the length of time you were together to fully get over it.
For example: if together 12 months, it MAY take up to 6 months to completely put it in your past. It's not an exact thing, and it's not always how long it takes, but it gives you an idea of how much time it takes to get over a heartbreak.
Just try your best to steer clear of him. The less you see him and/or speak to him, the better it is for you. It's hard at first, but it will get easier as time marches on. Like I said, you have to have patience with yourself.
In the mean time, try to fill your time with talking to, or hanging out with your friends and family, bringing him up as little as possible, to aide in keeping him off of your mind. You aren't going to stop thinking about him, but you can try to cut down the amount of time you DO spend thinking of him.
You'll move on, in due time.
And you thought your question was long... :)
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