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i'm i crazy?
O.K. 1st of all i really need help I'm just so confused.I'm a 14 yr. old girl & I think I might be a lesbian but i don't want to be. I mean I've only liked about 2 guys & a couple girls. I've had a really bad cruse on a girl for about 2 yrs. now & the wrost part is were really good friends I tell her I love her but not in a gay way. sometimes I think she likes me back I kinda want to tell her but I don't know what she'd do. I just don't want to be a lesbian but i just can't like guys. I mean I dream about this girl alot. I mean were perfect our families like each other we have lots in common it's heaven.I just don't know what to do except that I'm probably a lesbian but I'm scared my parents said they would kill if I was gay, i'd probably lose lots of friends but I told 1 of my friends & it did'nt change her. I just don't know. I'm scared, confused, my feelings are so insane.
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It's okay to be scared and confused - in fact, it's normal. Realising you might be a lesbian can be a messed up time because you might have grown up with the expectation that you were straight. It also involves a lot of consideration that straight kids don't need to worry about - knowing how to 'tell' if the girl you like is gay, deciding whether or not to tell your parents, deciding whether or not to tell other people, figuring out HOW to tell, etc etc etc. Not to mention the confusion of figuring out your identity!
It seems like you are asking a lot of questions. The first being about this girl you like. One thing that might help is reflecting on your two most extreme options and seeing how each makes you feel. The first is keeping things like they are, and not telling. The second is plucking up the courage to tell her how you feel, and doing it. Thinking about the pros and cons of each - and what feels right for you - could be helpful.
As far as your parents go, it's understandable to be nervous about their reaction. They could also have gone along with the expectation that you would be straight, as that's the 'norm.' You don't need to tell them until you feel ready.
Same thing with your friends.
Being in the closet (meaning knowing you are gay but not telling other people) can be a claustrophic time, and many people feel a newfound freedom and happiness from stepping out of it! This doesn't mean the ride is always easy, though. Maybe you could talk to your friend who knows you're a lesbian about your concerns and see what he/she thinks. How did they feel when you told them? Could they be with you when you tell other people?
At the end of the day, you are who you are. It's more than okay to be a lesbian, and living your life in tune with who you are will make you much happier in the long run.
I wish you the best.
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I think you should just be honest with yourself and accept who you are. There is always going to be people who hate you for your sexual orientation but you cant help that. You just have to keep your head held high. You are your parents daughter they will always love you no matter what. When you find the right time you'll tell them. Its nobody's business about what gender you prefer. Just always be honest with yourself.
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