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my boyfriend is in depression and its my fault
So me and my boyfriend have been together for a while. I have been miserable for over a month now. I cut myself once to see how it would feel even though i was and still am absoulutly against it. I have no idea how my boyfriend found out but that is not important. So two days later he goes to the doctors to make sure his mono is gone. then the doctor told him he was suffering from depression again. we both know it was mostly my fault. and i can never forgive myself. my misery is getting worse. and im not sure what i should do. at random times my boyfried will just stop acting happy and frown and have an attitude and be annoyed by anyone around him. do you have any ideas on how i can make things right?
i can not talk to him about anything things are stressed out as they are. do you think its normal for my misery to be getting worse? has this ever happened to anyone before?
Please advice!!!!!!!!!
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Your boyfriend is depressed because he doesn't have enough seratonin in the postsynaptic receptors in the mood centers of his brain. I suspect that you have the same issue. His moodiness could be a function of that depression or possibly just his teenage hormones. I know you say you cannot talk to him. You must. And you must get yourself some help for the stress that is threatening to send you into a deep depression. Tell you parents you need help, talk to a counselor at school or a trusted teacher, or do whatever you must, but neither of you will get better until you can both deal with your stress. It will probably help him deal with his own depression if he knows you have a plan to deal with yours.
Sabine
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its not your fault that hes depressed, and it is so un-fair of him to blame it on you. you did not make him depressed, you had reasons to cut yourself, and if he found out, so what? you cant blame yourself! thats not fair! he is depressed, and you are blaming yourself but its not your fault!!! hes depressed because of himself, and not because of you. you need to come to a realization that he has brought this on himself, and there is nothing that you couldve done to prevent it. if it wasnt cutting yourself, he wouldve been depressed over somthing else that you did. please, do not worry about it having any partial blame on you!
you can, however, try to help him to get over his depression. most suicidal people suffer from depression. you dont want your boyfriend to be one of them. tell him that your sorry that hes going through this, and that you are there for him. its good that hes seeing doctors, and so they will probably give him medication or somthing to recover from it. it probably wont be so long until he has revcovered, and then you can talk about what hapened, how both of you felt about it, hoos fault it was, etc. your 100% right in saying if you talk to him now it probably wont work out to well. just try to show support. Depression sort of locks everybody out of who ever has it, and so he may not want to talk to you for a while, but dont take offense because its not your fauly. Depression can last a long time, and will definately put a strain on your relationship. you may not want to deal with it. Remeber, you can breka up with him if youd like. give it some time and then decide, because you dont need to put yourself through that. if he is depressed he may take it out on you. you should talk to sombody, maybe a counslor or somthing. being eith sombody who is depressed can be difficult. i wish you the best of luck!
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I know what you're going through. My boyfriend used to cut because the distance between us. I knew it was my fault for having him feel that way. One night we just got on the subject and I didn't want it to let it go until we talked the whole thing through. It was tough for both of us. We stayed up all night and ended up in tears. Now he's fine, and we're still together. Though things are stressed out for you both, you still have to talk it out. It'll help him get through this. I wish that everything turns out okay. Good luck, let me know how it goes. :]
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