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Another Kate Walsh Type Question.
Hey!
First of all I just want to say that I really admire and respect you and the advice that you give everyone.
So, anyway, a while ago I asked this question;
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And the answer that I received from you has stayed the most significant to me. But the thing is, I mean, I still fill that way. I think she is so talented and seems to be such a nice person, and now it’s not only her but Sara Ramirez too (she plays Callie). I probably feel stronger about her and its just weird, because yes I see Kate as a motherly type figure; But I think that her and Sara are both really "HOT". That's probably the weirdest thing to me is that, like them both so much and think they are very attractive. The reason I like Sara is probably more for all her talent, but still its become like an obsession, and that bothers me more than I let my self feel, its just all so uncomfortable.
Sorry, I was rambling, But I guess my question is, is it wrong to feel this way? Am I weird? Maybe I'm just a crazy fanatic. But most of all, what do you think?
Thank you so, so much!
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Sorry this took so long. I needed time to think about it. I'm still not sure what has changed in the time between when I answered the first question and now. Perhaps it's the fact that nothing has changed except that you've added a new object of admiration that troubles you.
All I can really say is that there are probably a lot of women out there (straight, lesbian, and bi) who consider Kate and Sara absolutely hot. There is nothing wrong with that. We are taught from a very young age that we want to be attractive and we want to associate with the attractive people. It's just something we learn early. Most women dress up to be beautiful in order to be the prettiest woman in the room. It doesn't matter whether there are any men present. We want to be the most attractive. But here are these actresses who are both drop-dead gorgeous, talented, and intelligent. We are attracted to them naturally and we want to associate with them.
Now here's another fact well-known in the medical community. Patients are in awe of their doctors and often develop crushes on them. These wonderful doctors, caring, gentle, smart, and powerful, scoop us up from our misery and make everything better. It's a recognized fact that patients develop crushes on doctors. If they're of the same sex, we often convert those feelings into motherly affection because they sweetly, gently care for us and they're (ideally) always on our side and believe us when we say we have pain. There again comes the part that maybe if you don't have that open, caring relationship with your mother, perhaps you have identified with Kate and Sara as mother-types and fixated on that. Now, Sara's character is not old enough to be your mother, but Addison probably is.
So, to your questions: Is it wrong to feel this way? NO. It's not wrong to *feel* as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. It's our actions, not our feelings, that are wrong, usually. If you start running off to L.A., climbing fences, and stalking these actors, then it's wrong. If you harm yourself by going into a delusional world, it's wrong. If you simply watch the show and internally think how hot those women are, then you're a person who can apprecite the subtleties of how we're supposed to think Addison's adorable and Sara is attractive. They don't hire ugly, old people to play these characters. And what does it hurt to see them as hot or especially as mother figures?
Are you weird? I should hope so. Otherwise, you're average! ;) While not everyone experiences this same emotion over these characters, you're not hooked on Desperate Housewives or Sex and the City reruns, like many are. We all have our little obsessions. It's not weird to feel attracted to those actresses. It would be weird to change your name to Addison Callie McHotty.
That's when you'd switch over into the crazy fanatic side. Whatever it is - girl crush or mother-figure issues or bisexual blossomings - it doesn't hurt anyone else. It is what it is. You are who you are. You will eventually either lose interest in those two or you will learn that it doesn't affect anything either way and you'll get more comfortable with your emotions. And I think you're a fine young woman with great taste.
Thanks for the compliments on my advice, also. I appreciate that my words spoke to you.
Sabine
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